Changed not for the better
by Lovely lil' Evie
Summary: Edward never came back in NM. Bella moves on but in a different way than Edward had planned. Meeting Marcia and Christy changed her, and not for the better. What will the Cullens find when they return? -Continued from Christy Swans "Breaking you promises"
1. Christy and Marcia

**Hi guys! If you read the last author's note from my friend Christy's 'Breaking your promises story', I'm helping her with this story until she's ready to get back on it again. These are the chapters she wrote from before just so she doesn't confuse any new readers. Leave a review for Chrissy. I know she'll love them much! *Evie Lynn***

**PS: Chrissy & I are trying to get the old chapters up as fast as we can.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. As usuall. **

**It's been 3 years since they left me. I hate them all. They broke me to pieces and didn't even take a second glance behind them. I don't care anymore though. Charlie died 2 months ago from a gunshot wound and died before the ambulances even arrived.**

**I was walking the streets of port angeles, not caring about the dangers lurking at every corner. Rain began to pour through the drenched clouds, when a black porche pulled over by me. I was scared for a moment until I realized why I shouldn't be. Everything that mattered to me was gone. I had nothing, so why would it matter to me if I was about to be killed any minute? There was nothing left to live for anyway.**

**I closed my eyes, waiting patiently for my near death. **_Why is nothing happening?_ **I thought to myself. My eyes wrenched open when I heard 2 girls talking to each other. "Is she okay?" The girl with dark brown hair asked. The other girl with black hair shrugged. "Lets go ask" She suggested, and they both began to approach me.**

"**Are you okay?" The black haired girl asked. "yeah" I mumbled blankly. I guess the silence made them feel awkward so the brown haired girl spoke up. "Um, well my name is Marcia" She held out her hand. "Isabella" I said, taking her hand and shaking it. I decided to go with my full name.**

"**I'm Christy" The black haired girl said. I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you" I noticed Christy smoking a cigarette. She saw my gaze and held the packet out to me.**

"**Take one" She offered. I was hesitant for a second but then thought about it. **_He broke a promise, so why the hell would I continue to keep mine? _**I thought. I took it and she lit it for me. I put it between my lips and inhaled the smoke.**

**I held back a cough and continued to inhale it. It calmed all my nerves. I liked it…I felt numb.**


	2. Shopping

_2 months later…_

**I've been hanging out with Christy and Marcia for a while now. I told them about myself and they comforted me when I started to break down. They helped me through it and somehow, I feel like I can breathe again.**

**They asked me to move in with them and so I did. With their help, I was able to move out in just under 2 days. **

**Christy's house was huge! It was a 2 story mansion and she lived by herself. When I asked her about it, she told me her parents were millionaires but they past away a year ago in a car accident.**

**My room was 5 times as big as my other one and it had a large walk in closet. I even had my own bathroom.**

**I was super excited when I found out that Christy and Marcia were going to be transferring to my school. We would have so much fun together, and to celebrate the exiting news, we had a special girls night out.**

**We went to Port Angeles to go shopping and even though I don't really like shopping, I actually had a good time.**

**We got our hair dyed black. I Just got it layered but Marcia and Christy got stripes instead. Marcia got hot pink and Christy got green. **

**I stopped at every store, buying stuff. I got a cute pair of black stilettos and a matching hand bag. It was a blast and it was beginning to feel like an addiction. I felt a little guilty for spending Christy's money but she said that it was absolutely no problem. We shopped for hours and I ended up with a whole new wardrobe.**

**We stuffed all our bags into the car and surprisingly managed to get them all in. We sat in the porche for a few minutes, smoking and planning our next activity.**

"**Let's go to the new night club in Port Angeles! Marcia Suggested. "Yeah!" Christy agreed. **_Hmmm.. a club. This could be fun. _**"That's a great idea but we should go back to get ready and stuff." They agreed with me so we headed back.**

**Marcia wore a red tube dress that hugged her curves perfectly and a pair of silver pumps. Christy wore a lacy black mini dress and strappy heels that made her legs look extra long. **

"**You guys look amazing!" I gasped and they laughed at the look on my face. "Of course we do, you can't expect us to arrive there dressed in rags do you?" Christy teased and I grinned. **

"**Why aren't you dressed yet?" Marcia asked. I shrugged. "I don't know what to wear" Both their eyes widened in shock. "You buy yourself a entire wardrobe and you're telling me you don't know what to wear?!" She screeched. **

"**Come here, we are going to find you the perfect outfit!" Marcia grabbed my wrist and dragged me to my closet. She reminded me of Alice. I frowned, not wanting to think about them.**

**After about 2 minutes of digging through my new selection of clothing, Marcia held up one outfit in front of me. "This is the one. I can picture you wearing it and by the looks of it, you will look amazing." I looked it over twice. It was a dark blue halter top and a back mini skirt.**

"**I think it's perfect" I smiled in approval and she started to jump up and down in her heels.**

"**Great! So Christy will do your hair and makeup and I'll help you slip it on when you're done. Those stilettos you bought today will go perfect with this outfit." She clapped her hands and skipped out into the hallway. **

**Christy came in and pulled me to the bathroom. I sat on a salon-like stool facing the mirror. The counter was filled with hair products, makeup and everything you would find in a beauty shop.**

**Suddenly, the stool was turned around in a very fast motion that made my head spin. "You are not allowed to see yourself until I am finished" She insisted. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Who knew how long this would take?**

**I was hoping I would be able to drift off while she pampered me, but I couldn't since I was continuously being brushed and poked.**

**After what seemed like forever, she finally finished. I opened my eyes and squinted while they adjusted to the light. "I am finished with my masterpiece. You are going to be so stunning, you'll have every guy drooling at your feet!" She laughed**

**She spun me back around to face the mirror and chuckled when I gasped at myself. Was that really me? I didn't even look like myself, but I definitely looked drop-dead gorgeous. She applied a Smokey eye look and some light pink lip gloss to my face. She curled my black hair into loose waves that cascaded down my back.**

**I sat there, staring at myself for I don't know how long when someone snapped me out of me trance. I looked up to see an annoyed Marcia. "Hello! Do you realize how long I've been standing here?! We have to get you dressed so we can leave! C'mon" She forcefully pulled me to my feet.**

**She helped undressed me slowly, careful not to mess up anything, and slid the blue halter over my head. It fit snugly, and revealed a lot of skin. I looked sexy. I was able to put my skirt on by myself. It felt extremely tight, although I was sure it was my size.**

**Christy and Marcia did some last minute touch-ups to their makeup before getting into the car. I grabbed my black Coach purse and followed closely behind them. Christy hopped into the drivers seat and sped us off to our destination.**


	3. Night Clubs

**We pulled into the parking lot and I was feeling a little nervous. I've never been to a club before, let alone drink any alcohol beverages. Charlie told me the results of drinking and from what I've heard, they aren't good.**

**But the pain was still there, even though I was finally starting to recover, the hole in my chest was still existing. I was willing to try anything to replace the pain or at the very least, numb it for a few hours.**

**Christy, who sensed my distress, put a calming hand on my shoulder. "Bella I understand what you're going through. My boyfriend left me a few years ago for another girl, and I became very depressed for months. But one day I realized that maybe it's just better to move on. We're here for you and would do just about anything to help you get through this. Your like a sister to me." She said softly and Marcia nodded in agreement.**

**I smiled and pulled them both in for a hug. "Thanks guys, you really are the best. Now who wants to go clubbing!" I said, ready to forget about it for now. We hollered and cheered as we got out of the car and strutted our way towards the big glowing neon sign.**

"**Wait!" I stopped them and they gave me confused looks. "We're under age. How are we supposed to get in?" I asked and Marcia laughed. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I got these fake ID's for us, they will get us in." She explained and pulled the ID's out of her handbag.**

**I looked at mine. It showed a small recent picture of me and It read:**_** "Anna Callahan**_**" I raised my eyebrows at the name Marcia chose for me. "What? It's the first name that came to mind." She said defensively. "Nope, just wondering where you got the name from" I muttered. "Hmm. Cera Johnson." Christy mumbled to herself. I tilted my head to the side, processing the new names.**

**Once I got them down, I asked Marcia what her alias name was. "Brenda Watts" She answered and I nodded. "Okay I got it now. Ready to go?" I asked. "Yup" They said and we started walking again. **

"**Move you hips a little" Christy whispered in my ear and I complied. I gently swayed my hips and I started to hear boys whistling and calling us over. Marcia winked at them while Christy just flipped her hair back.**

**I felt their gazes on my ass when we stopped at the entrance to have the guy check our ID's. I swear the dude was on steroids or something. He was about 6'5 and very buff.**

**He gave us one stiff nod and we went in. It was dark but there were flashing lights everywhere. The music was blasting loud and it made my ears hurt. There was one large dance floor that dominated the central space. I noticed people were grinding againsed each other and it made me feel uncomfortable.**

**Some random guy came up to us and asked Marcia to dance with him. I thought she would reject him but to my surprise, she accepted. They started grinding on the dance floor.**

**I didn't know that she was so 'loose' like how she just gave herself to that guy without a second thought. I was learning more and more about Christy and Marcia. A lot of the things they did were unfamiliar to me, but I was slowly getting the hang of it.**

"**Have you ever had a 'drink'?" Christy asked, tossing her arm over my tensed shoulders. I shook my head. "Never" Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?! Girl, you are missin' out! I'm gonna get us drinks" She insisted and walked over to the bar.**

**I chuckled quietly to myself. They were always themselves and they never faked anything. They are like sisters to me. I stood there, leaning againsed the metal rail, watching people grind. I studied their movements, learning the exotic dance.**

**A tall guy approached me. He was obviously drunk considering that he was wobbling all over the place. When he finally reached me, he held onto the rail for support.**

**I could tell he was having a hard time focusing on me. "I'm Daannybluhhsby" He mumbled incoherently. Yup, definitely drunk. I didn't respond to him. "Wasszz uerr nnaame??" He asked.**

"**Anna" I said and a evil grin spread across his clammy face. I started to get nervous when he staggered a step closer to me. I was about to back away when he locked his dirty arm around my waist in a strong, unbreakable grip.**

"**Wwell Annaa, youu look kinnda losst. How 'bout I give youu a ride?" He snaked his hand under my top and I screamed as loud as I could before his hand clamped down on the mouth. "Ssshhhh" He purred in a disgusting way. I got a whiff of his breath and I instantly gagged. It smelled horrible, like he hadn't brushed for days.**

**The music was pounding through the speakers so I doubt anyone heard my scream. I prayed that someone would save me from this sick bastard. I tried squirming, but it didn't seem to work.**

**Suddenly, I heard fast footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer. "Get your fucking hands off her!" Christy screeched. Her hands balled into fists. His grip loosened but didn't release. This pissed her off more. She stormed up to us and knocked him square in the jaw which was followed by a loud cracking sound.**

**He fell to the ground, withering in pain while blood ran freely from his split lip. She shot him a deadly glare. "Ever put you filthy hands on her again and I will hunt you down like a fucking dog, understand?!"**

**He nodded frantically before scrambling to his feet and running off. Her eyes went from furious to concerned. I didn't realize I was still frozen in place with tears flowing down my face until she started to shake me.**

"**Izzy, are you okay?! Did he hurt you?" She asked worried about me. I mouthed 'No' and she nodded, but was still concerned. "Let's get Marcia so we can go" She said pulling me along but I planted my feet into ground. She turned around. "What's wrong?" She asked, a crease forming between her eyebrows. "I'll be okay. I don't want to ruin your night" I whispered. She sighed. "We had plenty of fun and I'm more worried about you. None of it was your fault" She held one reassuring hand to my face.**

"**Thank you, for everything" I said and she gave me a hug. "That's what families are for" Her voice was muffled againsed my shoulder but I still understood every word she said. I smiled, knowing I actually have something to live for.**

**We found Marcia and explained to her everything that happened tonight and she was angry. She said she would have done way more than just punch him. I could just imagine her, tearing him to pieces and it was scary.**

**We got home around 3:30AM and I was exhausted. I dragged myself up to the bathroom to shower. I massaged the strawberry shampoo in my hair and repeated the same process with the conditioner.**

**I really needed Edward at times like this. I felt so helpless. I needed him to show me which 'way' to go. I feel like I'm going down a rocky, unknown path and I don't know where it leads me.**

**The hot water didn't work through the knots like they always did. After 15 minutes, I gave up and wrapped myself in a fluffy blue towel.**

**I sat down on the cold marble floor, with my head resting on my knees. I decided to shave since the hairs were becoming visible. I rubbed my shaving cream all over my legs and ran the shaving razor over them. The cream got onto my hands and caused the razor to slip from my fingers. It sliced the side of my leg and blood oozed from the small wound.**

**I winced from the pain, but I noticed a different edge to it. I bit my lip while ordering my thoughts. It felt strangely good? For a moment, I completely forgot about everything, like a huge weight has been lifted off my back.**

**I held the razor to my wrist, and made a long gash across it. Blood ran down my arm and dripped on the floor. I leaned back againsed the sink, smiling as relief flooded through me.**


	4. Pancake Mornings

**I sat there for a few more minutes before someone came knocking on the door. **_Oh shit!_** I thought while rushing to clean up the bloody mess. What if they catch me? I started to panic. "Izzy, are you okay? You've been in there for an hour" Marcia said.**

"**Um, yeah! I'll be out in a minute!" I said, my voice was trembling. **_Damn it! She knows I'm doing something in here!_** Suddenly, the door opened and Marcia and Christy froze in shock.**

**I looked down to see the blood soaked towel in my hand. "Um, I cut myself…" I said nervously. They continued to stare at me blankly. "By accident or on purpose?" Christy asked. Her face was composed, so I had no idea what she was thinking.**

**My heart began to pound in my chest and I blushed for the first time in years. That was sure to give me away. I crumpled to the ground in humiliation, hot tears leaking from my eyes.**

**I felt someone's arm wrap around my body. What was I going to tell her? That I was suicidal? I wasn't, but that was exactly what it looked like. "It's okay" Christy murmured soothingly while stroking my damp hair.**

**I looked at her, wide eyed. "Your serious?" I asked in disbelief. I purposely cut myself and she says it's okay?! She looked away, embarrassed. I narrowed my eyes in confusion. She took a deep breath. "Well, to be honest, I used to cut myself…I still do" She admitted.**

**I raised my eyebrows in amusement. Wow, I never expected to hear that. "But it's okay really!" She continued. "Just avoid any major veins and you should be fine" I just stared at her mutely. "I do it too" Marcia said from the doorway. **

"**Like I said, I know exactly what your going through" Christy muttered. I still didn't say anything. "Well, we'll talk about this later, but right now we should all get some sleep" She insisted. She was right, I felt like I would pass out any second.**

**I moved silently through the hallway, into my darkened room. Not bothering to turn on any lights, I stumbled over invisible objects, while searching for my bed. When I finally reached it, I collapsed and instantly fell asleep.**

*******

**I was awakened by my heated room. The windows were sealed shut, and my door was closed. I lifted my arm to wipe it across my drenched forehead. My muscles were all stiff.**

**I moved drowsily out of bed and opened my window. The immediate rush of cool wind sent chills bristling over my sticky skin. I shuddered, remembering something else that felt ice cold…**

**I grabbed my bag of toiletries and a clean set of clothes, and headed towards the bathroom. "Ugh!" I groaned as I looked at myself in the mirror.**

**My eyes were red and puffy from crying, there were bags under them, and my face was stained with tears. I am a mess! I raked my fingers through my knotted hair and ended up pulling out a chunk of it.**

**I sighed and looked down, defeated. My eyes brightened up when I noticed the small razor I used last night. I hesitantly lifted it from the counter, examining it. I saw my dried blood on it and made a face.**

**I rinsed it under warm water and dried it with a tissue paper. I pressed the blade againsed my forearm and slid it across slowly, watching it slice the skin. Red liquid spilt out and before it dripped, I held my arm over the sink.**

**There was a little pain at first, but it numbed down and calmness washed through me. I sighed in happiness and stepped into the shower. My cuts burned under the steaming water, but I didn't care.**

**After my relaxing shower, my muscles were thawed out and I was feeling way better. I threw on a light pink shirt that said **_**"Royal Bitch"**_** in a silver, elegant script and a white mini skirt.**

**I finished up by brushing my teeth and I jogged down the steps to find Marcia making chocolate chip pancakes. She turned around with a plate and handed it to me. "Thanks" I mumbled and she smiled. **

**I forked up a piece and stuffed it into my mouth. "Mmm, this is really good" She turned to face me with a huge grin on her face. "I'm glad" She said proudly.**

**Christy strode into the kitchen and sat down next to me. "Can't wait to start our first day of school!" She said sarcastically. Marcia rolled her eyes at her and I laughed. I completely forgot that today was our first day of Senior year. **

**I've been dreading this day although I knew I'd have to face it sometime. "Aren't you gonna eat?" I asked. "After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" I said cheerfully.**

"**I already ate. I needed to do it early so I have extra time to make myself perfect for my first day of school" She giggled like a little school girl. "I ate too. You're the last one so hurry up before we get there late!" Marcia ordered me in a very '**_mom-ish'_** tone.**

**I sighed as I put my dishes in the sink and went to the bathroom to get ready. I did the same style last night. Smokey eyes, light pink lip gloss, and loose beach waves.**

**I chose my ivory coach hand bag since it matched my outfit. I heard the purring of the car outside so I knew they were waiting for me. Out my way out, I slipped on a pair of silver Jimmy Choo heels and white designer jacket in less than five seconds.**

**Marcia was honking the horn now and so I bolted out the door, thankfully without tripping and let her irritation boil over.**


	5. Heroin

**We were seven minutes away from the school and I was getting kinda freaked out. I knew the school would definitely bring back old memories. Memories that I've been trying so hard to run away from, and now were driving right back into them.**

**I peeped in the rearview mirror to see Christy fiddling with something. I looked closer and saw a metal spoon with some weird looking liquid in it. She held her cigarette lighter under it, like she was trying to heat it. She dug into her purse and pulled out a small silver syringe. **

**She filled it with the strange **_**yellow-ish **_**liquid and drove it straight into one of her veins. I thought my eyes would pop out of my sockets roll under the seat. Was she sick or something? I never knew doctors prescribed these kinds of things to people.**

"**Are you okay, Christy?" I asked, turning to face her. She was putting the objects back into her bag. She gazed up at me and smiled. "I'm okay, why do you ask?" She questioned me in a completely calm manner.**

**This confused me. She never acted this way before, she was always in a 'cheery' or 'jumpy' mood, but never calm. I ignored her question and asked my own instead. "What was that stuff you just injected into your arm?"**

**Her smile widened as she answered. "It's just another way we relieve our stress" She shrugged indifferently. I raised my eyebrow. "We?" I said. Marcia spoke up this time. "Yeah we both use it. Would you like to try?" I narrowed my eyes, confused. **

"**What exactly is it?" I made a 'grossed out look' and they both laughed. "It's heroin" They said as if it were the most obvious thing. I think my eyes literally popped out of my head.**

**They reassured me quickly before I could go full-on panic mode. "It's a reliever. Were not some crazy druggies!" Marcia giggled and I scowled in return. "If your on any sort of addicting drug, your considered a 'druggie'" I retorted.**

"**Come on Izzy! You've been living with us for months now and you know just as well as we do that we are well under control. This stuff just makes everything seem unimportant. Your basically numb" Christy stated.**

**I thought about it for a moment. If I take this, I won't have to deal with the pain anymore. My decision was made in an instant. "I'll do it" I said with a strong voice.**

**Christy got the syringe ready while I focused on my breathing. She leaned forward and gripped my arm tightly in her hand. She pushed the point into the crease of my arm and my muscles tensed as she released the fluids.**

**I felt so calm and my nerves were tingling. My vision went blurry and then I was lost in darkness.**

********

**I woke up in my bed with a terrible migraine. I noticed a small movement, coming from the corner of the room. My eyes snapped up to see Christy sitting on the sofa, watching me. She crossed the room and sat at the edge of my bed. She gave me an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, I forgot to mention that this is what it's gonna be like for your first time. After this, you should be okay. Your system has to get used to the drug first" She explained.**

**I just nodded. "Where is Marcia?" I asked. "She went to school. She was very upset that she was late"**

**I sighed quietly to myself. It was going to take some time to make it up to her. I knew how much this meant to her and I completely thought of myself.**

**Christy left to get me some aspirin and a glass of water. I popped the pill into my mouth and chugged down the entire glass within seconds.**

**I was feeling better after a few minutes and was able to get up and walk around, without fainting. When I was finally recovered from the drug, Christy gave me another dose. **

**This time I could fully experience the effects of the drug. It was like nothing in the world mattered to me. I couldn't feel any emotion or anything. I was just so…numb, and I loved it. I had no regrets on my decision. None at all.**


	6. The Cullens

Today, I am definitely ready to go to school. Christy shot me up again and was perfectly stable for the day. I changed into a gray sweatshirt and white skinny jeans and went to school early.

The car ride passed by a lot faster than usual, due to my lack of attention.

We arrived at the high school and I remained completely at ease. I sighed in relief and opened the car door. Marcia and Christy flanked my sides as we approached the school hallway.

I heard gasps and murmurs around me, and I knew they were talking about us. "Is that Bella?" Someone asked in disbelief. I smirked at him. "It's Isabella to you" I said in a bitchy voice and walked off.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I passed a silver Volvo, parked not too far from the porche. _**That couldn't be them…could it?**_** I turned around to investigate and what I saw, confirmed my thoughts. **

**All five of them, staring back at me with shocked expressions. All except for Edward, who showed nothing but pain. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the office room. I could care less if they came back, they just better stay away from me. **

"**Welcome back Ms. Swan" Ms. Cope greeted and handed me, my senior year schedule. I looked it over until I got it down. My first class was chemistry and so I paced off to building C. I handed my slip to Mr. Duarte and eyed the packed classroom for an open seat. **

**The one and only, Edward was in my class, sitting next to the last empty desk. "Shit" I cursed under my breath, too low for the teacher to hear, but apparently, someone else heard. **

**Edward's head snapped up and his eyes met mine. I glared and his face crumpled in sadness. **_Good for him, he deserves it._ **The voice in my head mocked, but for some reason, a small part of me felt bad. **

**I was disgusted. I thought I moved past it all already, but obviously I didn't. I was going to have to take double the amount of drugs to seal my mind away from it. I wasn't going to let myself get hurt again.**

**I seated myself beside him, my whole body tensed and cautious just in case he tried something. I faced the board the whole time, knowing he was staring at me.**

**I felt myself getting ready to have a breakdown, and I knew the drug was wearing off. I raised my hand and he called on me. "I need to go to the nurses office. I do not feel well" I stated and swiftly exited the room.**

**I turned for the bathroom instead and locked the door behind me. I dumped out my purse onto the counter, searching through it's contents for my razor.**

_Aha!_** I desperately grabbed the blade and slashed it across my arm without hesitance. I closed my eyes as my breathing slowed. Suddenly, the razor was ripped from my fingers.**

"**What the hell are you doing?!" A beautiful voice growled angrily and I whirled around to face him.**___Beautiful? _**I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. I scowled and held out my hand. "Give it back" I demanded but he didn't comply. **

**His eyes were pitch black and his mouth was set in a straight, hard line. "Answer my question" He snarled. "None of your business" I retorted and put my things back into my purse. **

**I pulled down my sleeve and headed for the door. Right then, Lauren came in and walked right into me. She stood in front of the door and shot glances between Edward and I.**

"**Cutting yourself again Bella?" She asked casually. My hand twitched, wanting to smack her. Great, now I'm gonna have to explain this to Edward. His black eyes darted to me, a knowing look crossing his face.**

"**Hey!" Lauren complained as I shoved her to the side so I could escape. I couldn't deal with this right now. I left my books behind in class and raced to the parking lot to get out of here.**

**I looked around cautiously as I proceeded, making sure no one saw me. After all, school wasn't out yet and I was ditching. I stopped at the car and rummaged through my bag for the spare keys.**

**It became frustrating after a while and so I dug even deeper for the keys. I gasped, startled as I was swung into a pair of strong, cold arms. I looked up to see Edward, carrying me to his car where Jasper and Emmett were waiting with the door open.**

"**What are you doing?! Put me down!" I shouted furiously. I scrambled in his arms, trying to break free, but he wouldn't budge. He set me down in the back seat and shut the door.**

**Emmett pinned me down while Jasper sent waves of calm toward me. I was too pissed for it to work. Edward got into the front seat and started driving. I continued to fight againsed Emmett's grip, but we both knew I wouldn't win.**

"**Where are you taking me?" I asked, out of breath. "My house" He answered coldly. My teeth clenched together. That was the last place I wanted to go. "Why can't you guys stick to your damn promises? Oh, I'm never gonna leave you Bella I love you, or sorry Bella, were never coming back, It'll be as if I never existed" I imitated his voice poorly. **

**I saw him flinch slightly in the rearview mirror. "I do love you Bella, I never wanted to leave you. I lied to protect you, and I'm sorry. I'm back now, and I swear I'll never leave your side again" He vowed.**

**I rolled my eyes. Just another bunch of lies. "Hi Belly" Emmett said. "Hi" I mumbled quietly. I couldn't be mean to him, he didn't do anything to hurt me. I didn't notice the car stop until Edward came around to open the door for us.**

**Emmett helped me up. I stretched once I was out. I've been cramped in the same position for about fifteen minutes. "It's nice to have you back again" Emmett grinned and lifted me into a big bear hug.**

**I couldn't breath for a few seconds and I was gasping for air. He laughed and set me down. Edward and Jasper were nowhere in sight, so I guess they went into the house.**

**The house that I haven't seen in over two years. It was still in excellent shape. No rotting wood or chipping paint, always as good as new. Emmett gestured towards the house with a reassuring smile on his face. I smiled back a little and walked nervously to the front door.**

**The door opened before I could even knock and Esme pulled me in for a gentle, motherly hug. "Bella dear, I'm so happy to see you. Come in, and make yourself at home" She said sweetly and I followed her in.**

**The whole Cullen family was waiting in the living room, their golden eyes watching me intently. I stood several feet away from them and folded my arms over my chest.**

**Edward was the first one to speak. "Bella, we know you have been cutting yourself and taking drugs, specifically heroin" He said and I froze. I know that he knew about the cutting, but how did he find out about the drugs?**

"**How did you find out about the drugs?" I asked and he tapped the side of his head. **_Hello! How could I have forgotten that he can read minds? Of course he would've found out that way._ **"Why do care anyway? You left me so why would it matter? It's my choice" I defended myself. Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.**

"**Bella, I never wanted to leave you. I thought you'd be better off without me. I didn't know it would be like this," He then looked at me with stern eyes. "I love you Bella and I won't let anything hurt you, not even yourself. Your going to stop the drugs and cutting, whether you like it or not"**


	7. Escape

_Previously: "I love you Bella and I won't let anything hurt you, not even yourself. Your going to stop the drugs and cutting, whether you like it or not"_

**Whether I liked it or not? Don't even get me started, he stopped being a part of my life the moment he left. He doesn't have any authority over me. "I don't think so. I'll continue to do it as long as I please. You have no say in the decisions I make, and with that said, I think I will leave now"**

**I turned for the door but suddenly Edward was there, blocking my path. "You're not going anywhere" He scoffed and I glared at him, my eyes filled with hate. "Fine keep me here, but that's not going to stop me" I said stubbornly and plopped down on one of the sofas. **

**I looked out the window to see the day, slowly fading away into a moonless night. "So where am I supposed to sleep?" I puffed in a restless voice. "Edward's room, your things are already up there" Alice spoke softly.**

**I gave her one, swift nod before heading towards the stairs. When I reached his room, I found my duffel bag sitting on top a large bed, in the center of the room. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to disappear.**

**I went through my bag, finding multiple sets of clothes, tooth brush, my strawberry shampoo, and my shaver. I smiled at the last one. I wonder why they would give me a shaver if they knew I cut myself with it. I narrowed my eyes at the thought.**_ They are strange people._

**I grabbed a dark blue camisole, black boy shorts and a clean underwear set. I skipped to the bathroom with my razor, which isn't exactly smart but I was eager to cut. I was getting addicted to this, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.**

**Once in the bathroom, I locked the door behind me. It probably wouldn't do any good since they could just bust right through it. I yanked my clothes off and turned the water as hot as it would go.**

**The shower was steaming by the time I got in and I thought it would melt my skin right off. I made two deep gashes on both wrists and let the blood wash away with the water. I smiled at the burning sensation as I held my arms directly under the shower head.**

**I was in my happy place until reality came back to slap me across the face. **_Who would ever cut themselves and think they can get away with it, in a house full of vampires? _**I tilted my head to the side. **_Oh well, too late now… _**I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel.**

**Edward then ran right through the door, leaving a outline of his form on the ragged edges. His face was bone white and his eyes were black. He snatched the shaver from me and crushed it effortlessly in his stone hand.**

"**What are you doing?!" He growled and I shrugged, unaffected by his tone. I placed a finger on my lips. "Well let's see, you smelt the blood, you broke down the door and saw a razor in my hand. I'd say it's quite obvious" I mocked.**

**He glared furiously at me and I smirked. "Now if you will excuse me, I'd very much rather if I got dressed without having a peeping tom watching behind my back" I winked teasingly and he shifted uncomfortably before storming out.**

**I giggled quietly to myself, knowing I got to him and I would continue to mess with him as long as I was here. After I was dressed, I strolled down to the kitchen for a glass of water. From the corner of my eye, I saw Alice watching me suspiciously, just in case I tried to make a run for it or something.**

**I grabbed a cup from the cabinet, and filled it with faucet water. I drank slowly so I wouldn't choke and tossed it in the sink. "Aren't you gonna eat something?" She asked, eyeing my skinny form.**

**I shook my head. "Nope, not hungry. Drugs really make you loose your appetite" I answered simply and headed back to the stairs. "It's not healthy you know" She stated and I froze in place. "The drugs didn't make me this way" I whispered and returned to the room.**

**I curled up on the bed all night, thinking about everything that has happened since they returned. They think they're helping me get better, but they really are just making it a lot worse. **_Don't let yourself get hurt again. You know what they did to you._** I reminded myself.**

**I wondered how Christy and Marcia are doing. I was gone the whole day and didn't mention a word to them. They were probably freaking out, especially Christy. I missed them and I wanted to go home.**

**I rolled over to look at the alarm clock. It was 3:13 in the morning and I still wouldn't fall asleep. I wanted to get out of here. I carefully slipped out from under the covers and walked over to the door. I hesitantly opened the door and peered into the dark hallway. **

**I checked my surroundings thoroughly, to make sure I was clear to proceed. I didn't notice anything. They probably went hunting since I was supposed to be sleeping right now. I tip-toed down the stairs, tensing whenever the floor creaked.**

**The entire room was as dark as the hallway and I could barely see anything. There was a small night light plugged into the wall which helped, but not so much.**

**I ran to the door and attempted to open it, but it was locked. I squinted my eyes, straining to see. I fiddled with it for a few minutes until I got it unlocked. I grinned as I wrenched open the door.**

**Suddenly, it was slammed closed again. I spun around startled, but all I could see was black. "Where do you think your going?" Edward questioned. I tried to run again and he tossed me over his shoulder.**

"**Let me go!" I screeched, as I struggled to escape. I kicked and screamed but it didn't stop him. "Bella can you please calm down" He pleaded and the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I hate you!"**


	8. Family Meetings

**I covered my mouth as soon as the words came out. I didn't mean to say that to him. I was just so angry and frustrated and my thoughts were spinning out of control. He looked like I just tore his heart out and ripped it into a million little pieces.**

**He immediately composed himself into a blank expression and took a deep breath. "I said I would stop you Bella, and I will" He said before exiting the room. I snickered quietly to myself. "Not if I can help it" I leaned back against the pillows and drifted into a light sleep.**

********

**My whole breakfast time was tense. Edward sat across from me and we were staring at each other the whole time. His face showed the same blank expression as last night and I felt strangely guilty.**

**I squinted my eyes at him and he finally looked away. "I don't know why you even try" I shoved a spoonful of cereal into my mouth and chewed, waiting for a response. "Bella, I'm not going to allow you to hurt yourself" His teeth clenched together and his fist came down on the table.**

**The table quivered slightly before collapsing. 'Oh' I mouthed while surveying the damage. Edward's eyes widened in horror. "Better run Eddie. Esme's not gonna be so happy when she finds out you broke her antique table" I giggled and he glared in return.**

**I skipped out the front door and Edward surprisingly let me. I strolled down the sidewalk with my hands in my pocket. **_What wouldn't I give to have a cigarette right now…_** I continued walking down the path when I caught sight of a flattened cigarette bud, smashed into the concrete. I reached down to pick it up and examined it between my fingers.**

**It was a little bent, but I could still use it. I looked around desperately for something to light it with, but there was nothing. I gave up and stuffed it into my back pocket, hoping I could use it sometime since they took away my pack. **

**I headed back to the house, not bothering to run. He could catch me in a second anyway. When I got back, the entire family was waiting there with serious expressions.**

**I raised my eyebrows at them as I walked around to the stairs. "Family meeting" Carlisle called. **_Well I'm not a Cullen, so I guess I'm excused. _**"You should come too, Bella" He said. I groaned and jogged back down. **

**I sat down in the last seat and crossed my arms, gazing at the polished table. **_Wow, they replaced the table quickly. _**"Bella, your addiction is very dangerous to your health and we are very worried to were this could lead to" Carlisle started, looking at me with concerned eyes.**

**I chuckled humorlessly, while shaking my head and they stared at me like I was crazy. "How about this, let me live my life and stay the hell out of it" I snapped and shoved away from the table.**

**Carlisle, Esme and Edward all stood up at once, ready to restrain me. That set me off. "Why can't you guys leave me the fuck alone?! You have no right to control me! I don't make anyone's decisions except my own, unlike you pigheaded assholes!" I screamed and they all gasped in shock. **

**I never cursed in front of them before, but I didn't care. "Bella, let's just talk about this" Edward said, his hand reaching out to me. I slapped it away and growled. I grabbed the butter knife off the table and tried to slice my wrist to relieve the stress.**

**Edward gripped my wrists and pinned them behind my back while Carlisle got a needle. I screamed and thrashed around violently. They were going to sedate me. Tears were streaming down my face as I continued to fight them.**

**He plunged the needle deep into my shoulder. My eyes drooped and my whole body went weak. I began sway, and fell into Edward's cold arms.**


	9. Craziness

**I forced my eyes open, but they threatened to close again. I was so exhausted and worn out. I scowled at the ceiling, remembering what happened. **_Damn idiots sedated me. No wonder why I feel like shit._** My thoughts were interrupted by a tapping sound at the window.**

**I warily got up to look out the window and saw Marcia and Christy throwing pebbles at the window frame. My heart sputtered for a second. **_They actually came for me. _

"**What are you guys doing here?" They were the last people I expected to see. "Getting you out of here" Marcia hissed quietly and I was surprised that Edward or any of the Cullens didn't come to stop me yet. I looked back at the door, deciding whether or not I should do it. **

_Edward's gonna be furious. _**I shrugged it off and turned back to the window. **_I don't give a shit about how he feels. He didn't when he left._** I gazed down at the lawn. It was pretty far down and I don't think they brought a ladder with them.**

"**How am I supposed to get down?" They looked worried for a minute but then something they saw caught their attention. They jogged out of sight, and reappeared with a plastic tarp.**

**I narrowed my eyes, confused as they spread it wide and gripped it tightly in their hands. "Jump Bella, it's strong enough to support you" My breathing hitched and fear flooded through me.**

"**Don't worry Izzy, we're both ready" Christy nodded, telling me to hurry. I slowly climbed out onto the roof, crouching slightly so I wouldn't lose balance. I took a deep breath and leaped into the air. I bit my lip, holding back a scream as gravity pulled me back down.**

**My body smacked against the tarp, my back stung from the force and I felt nauseous. "Come on, we have to hurry!" Christy helped me up and rushed to the car with Marcia right on our heels.**

**I threw myself into the backseat while Marcia started the engine. "Bella stop!" Alice screamed, running through the garage at human speed. She had to or she would have exposed herself. I giggled and waved at her. "Bye!" Marcia stepped on the gas and I saw Alice glare at me.**

**We busted out laughing when we could no longer see the house. This was so awesome, I thought I would never get away from them. "They are so cruel, they wouldn't let me smoke one freakin' cigarette!" I pouted and they chuckled.**

"**Here" Christy opened the glove compartment and handed me a smoke. I grinned and stuck it between my lips. The usual calmness took over but something wasn't right.**

**I had everything I needed, Marcia, Christy and razors, so why did I feel so empty? Edward's words kept repeating in my head **_'I love you'_** and I was beyond confused.**

**Why would he say that? Edward made it perfectly clear that he didn't love me and now he was trying to take away the one thing that mattered. People say that drugs destroy lives but I think different. Edward left me broken and alone and the drugs helped me move on.**

**But why would he say that he loves me? I'm just a plain human that was too weak to stand on her own. It never made sense for him to love me. I knew that when we were together and I was right. I could never compare to the beauty of a vampire.**

**But even if he did love me, how could he expect me to ever trust him after what he did. I wanted to hate him, but I knew that some part of me still had feelings for him, and I hated that. I knew he didn't love me, and I know the only reason he said it was because I was a mess.**

"**Are we going to school tomorrow?" I asked as we pulled onto the driveway. "Yeah, you missed too many classes already and your grades will drop if you miss anymore" Marcia looked at me in the rearview mirror.**

**This is only going to make things harder. Of course 'they're going to school too. **_What the hell was I suppose to tell him? _**I bet he's going to toss me in his car again and take me back to his house, but his time he'll make sure I don't escape.**

"**Just stay near us and they won't bother you" Christy said and I scoffed while rolling my eyes. **_If you only knew that they are ten-thousand times stronger than you…_

**I went to my room and flopped down onto the bed. Things were very hectic lately and it was driving me nuts. I definitely needed a break from all of it. I should get a job and hopefully someday get my own place where I could get away from all the craziness. My eyelids soon fluttered and sleep overtook me. **


	10. Too Attached

**My eyes darted around frantically, searching for any signs of the Cullens. I didn't see any of them so I let it go for now. I walked nervously to class, wishing I wouldn't have to go. But I had to or I would fail my class and possibly be held for Summer school or even worse, repeat the whole year and stick around with the Cullens.**

**I shuddered at the thought. I don't think I could handle being around any of them while Christy and Marcia are off in college. They were my safe harbor and I always felt protected with them. Even though they wouldn't stand a chance during a stand-off with a Cullen member.**

**I've been holding my breath for a while and my face was surely purple by now. **_I might start losing brain cells_** and with that knowledge, I rushed to class. Edward's seat was empty, **_Thank god_ **and I exhaled, nearly passing out from lack of oxygen.**

**The class hour dragged on, and I was drifting off every now and then. I yawned loudly and slouched in my seat to show my disinterest "Ms Swan, I will not tolerate rudeness in my class. Report yourself to the office" Mr. Duarte ordered without any warnings.**

**I trudged lazily to the office and sat down in front of Mr. Grant's desk. He didn't look at me as he continued to drink his coffee. **_Sometime today, please… _**I tapped my fingers on the armrest impatiently. "Would you like to explain to me why you are here?" He asked and I shrugged.**

"**The lesson was boring. Not my fault you hired a bunch of idiots to teach the class" He stood up from his leather chair and pointed to the door. "You just earned yourself three weeks of detention young lady. You are excused" He scoffed and the bell rang.**

**Students crowded the hallways and I saw Christy by her locker with Stephan Barris. I could faintly hear their conversation but only bits of it. She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips and I was shocked. She never told me she had a boyfriend.**

**Stephan whispered something in her ear and it made her jumpy and exited. "Of course I will! Izzy will be fine, she can have the house" Christy didn't even notice that she was basically shouting. I narrowed my eyes in confusion.**_ Keep the house? What is she talking about? Is she going somewhere?_

**Christy saw me and bounded over. She grabbed my arms and shook me with a huge grin on her face. "Guess what?! Stephan just asked me to move in with him!" She screamed and I tried to cover my ears. **_What?! I couldn't have heard right. Please tell me I didn't._

"**What?" My voice cracked and I forced the lump in my throat down. She saw my face and her forehead creased. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking, I can stay if you want. I mean I don't have to go" She said sadly and I mentally slapped myself.**

_Stop being so selfish! You always think of yourself! They have lives too and you knew you had to let them go sometime._** I took a deep breath. I knew it couldn't always be about me, and I had to move on too, just like Christy did. "No, you have to go. I'll be okay" I whispered but I wasn't sure if my words were true. She pulled me into a tight hug and buried her face into my shoulder. "Thank you so much Izzy. You have no idea how much this means to me" She said and I smiled slightly, **

_At least I have Marcia right?_ **"No problem" I said and she smiled once more before walking off with Stephan. Marcia was just coming out of the biology room and came to walk with me to the car. "Izzy I need to tell you something" She said hesitantly, like she was scared of how I would react.**

**I looked at her and she was staring at the ground. **_What could possibly go wrong now?_** "What's wrong?" I asked and she looked even more nervous. "Christy is moving to San Francisco with Stephan and I'm going to go live with my mom in California for awhile. I haven't seen her since my parents got divorced" She said and I froze.**

_Everything could go wrong. They're both leaving and I was going to be alone again. It was a mistake to get attached to someone again. Because they would eventually end up leaving me. Just like Edward and the Cullens, then Charlie and Renee, and now Christy and Marcia._

"**I'm so sorry Izzy. You know I would've done it differently If I could. You'll always be my best friend and I promise to visit you twice a year" She assured me but it didn't work. I just stayed silent, staring at nothing.**

"**Here, the car is yours. Our stuff in in Stephan's truck and he's driving us to the airport tonight" She handed me the keys to the porche. "Bye Izzy, I'll miss you" She gave me a quick hug and ran to catch up with Christy. The hole in my chest ripped wide open and I knew that nothing could fix it now.**

**I walked lifelessly through the parking lot, searching for the car.**_ I swear we parked it over here…_** I gazed at the empty lot, when I heard someone clear their throat.**

**I glanced up to see Edward, leaning against his car with an enraged look on his face. He looked at me, taking in my dead expression and forgot about the anger. He was about to say something, but I raised my hand to cut him off. I got into his car and found Alice, Jasper, and Emmett in it.**

"**Sorry Bella, this must be very hard for you" Alice said and I gave her the nastiest look I could pull off. "And how would you even know what it feels like to be left behind? You don't know shit about me or what I've been through" I growled and she cringed. **_Good for her._

"**I know how it feels" Jasper murmured from the front seat. Edward sat next to me and gazed at me sadly and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They leaked from the corners of my eyes and Edward cradled me to his chest comfortingly and protectively.**


	11. Dying Inside

**I've been staying in Edward's room for about four days now, without ever coming out. Esme, Alice and Edward are taking shifts on watching and feeding me but I couldn't eat. I'm so sick of it all and I'm tired of feeling like this. **_The only solution is to end my life. _**To be honest, I didn't really want to die, but I've been trying to live and I can't. I try to breathe but I keep on suffocating. And I can't survive this way.**

**Esme stood in the doorway, a crease forming between her brows. I continued to stare at the wall when she came up behind me and began to stroke my knotted hair "Bella dear, you should come downstairs. It pains me to see you so broken. My son made a huge mistake and although he doesn't deserve it, I hope that someday you can forgive him. He does love you, and he wasn't lying when he said it" **

**I didn't turn to face her as tears blurred my vision. They obviously don't know the definition of pain because I'm the one hurting the most, not them. "I'll give you a moment to think about it" She said as she left me alone. **_I didn't have to think. I knew what I wanted and what I want is to stop existing. _**I wiped the rest of my tears away and dug into my pocket were I stuck a razor just in case I ever needed it. **_Now I did and it will be the last time I use it._

**I sliced both wrists and began to stab myself several times until I didn't have the strength anymore. Pain shot through my body like burning hell, but I couldn't stop now. Blood stained everything around me as I fell to my knees. The red pulsed out of my arm. **_I must have severed a vein._ **Using up the last of my energy, I slid the blade across my neck. The razor fell from my hand as I chocked on my blood, struggling to get oxygen. **

"**NO!" Edward snarled, rushing in to lift me from the ground. The rest of the family filled the room and Esme eyes bulged. "CARLISLE!" She screamed and he busted through the door in a split second. Carlisle kneeled down beside me, shouting orders at Edward. My heartbeat was slowing and Edward began to do CPR on me. "Come on Bella! Breath, for me!" He begged, pressing his icy lips to mine and forcing more air into my lungs.**

**He continued to pound on my chest, and I started coughing. I was gasping wildly for air, but I couldn't breathe. "Edward, get the ventilator!" Carlisle shouted at him and suddenly, I felt something being pushed down my throat, it felt like a tube. I could breathe easier now but the cool air was drying out my throat. The blood was still pouring out of my mutilated body parts and I was beginning to feel light headed. My stomach churned at the scent of blood and I gagged a little.**

**I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness and I didn't fight it. I wanted to die, and I didn't want them to save me. I didn't really forgive Edward, but I couldn't deny the fact that I had some feelings for him, even if it wasn't possible for him to ever love me, he needed to know how I felt. My voice sounded weak, almost strangled as I spoke. "Edw-ward, I know you don't lo-ve me, but I do love you" He looked heartbroken and he took my hand in both of his. "Bella, I have always loved you and will continue to, even when I stop existing. Please fight it, for me. Stay alive-" His beautiful voice faded, as I slipped under. **


	12. Coma

"She hasn't waken up… Why hasn't she waken up yet?! It's been fourteen hours!!"" Edward was going crazy and I was getting a headache from all his rambling. I could hear everything, but I couldn't move my body. I felt frozen and had no control over my limbs. Alice was trying to reassure him that I was fine, but I wasn't really convinced myself. It would have been a lot easier if they would just let me die in peace. "Edward, Bella is gonna be fine! _**Jeez,**_** your giving me a damn headache, so if you'll be so kind, shut up already!!"** **Alice exploded and I heard something get smashed.**

"**Alice, lower your voice, your gonna damage her ears! They're extremely sensitive you know!" Edward hissed and I could just picture Alice rolling her eyes. "Why would she do this to herself? Why would she try to take herself away from me forever?" Edward sobbed and I heard Alice's soft voice comforting him. "She'll be okay, Edward. Just give her some time to recover" She soothed and I felt slightly better. **_That's a relief. Now I don't need to worry about being trapped in this uncomfortable position for the rest of my life._

**A icy chill ran down my spine and I had the urge to shiver, but I couldn't move. **_It's freezing in here! Where am I anyway?_** I heard Edward's breathing hitch. "My poor Bella is cold! Alice, could you get her a blanket. It must be so hard for her, to be going through all of this. And she's been going through it all by herself. She deserves to have a happy life and now look at her, she's in a coma!" He ranted and realization flooded through my head. **_Oh my god, I'm in a coma! A fucking coma!_

**I was pissed now. I could have been dead by now, but at least I would've been happy. But instead, they keep me here, where I am heartbroken and torn apart, and try to fix what cannot be saved. Curiosity filled me when the room became silent. I suddenly felt a cold breath at me ear and I immediately knew who it was. "Bella, I am so sorry. This is all my fault and your suffering for my mistakes. I love you so much Bella, and you didn't deserve any of this pain. I would switch places with you any day if it meant you wouldn't have to feel It" He kissed my forehead and started to hum my lullaby.**

**For some reason, I believed him and I wanted to tell him that I did. The sweet tune of my lullaby made my heart swell with love and I felt a little tingling in my arms. Sort of like the feeling of the a hundred needles, prickling at your skin and my fingers started twitching. **

"**Alice, she's moving!" Edward gasped and I felt another pair of cold hands on my face. "She's going to wake up in two minutes and thirteen seconds!" She squealed and I heard her jumping up and down.**

**Soon, I was able to move my arms and legs, and then I opened my eyes. I peered around the room, taking in my surroundings. Edward bolted to my bedside and took one of my hands. "Thank god your okay!" He said but I didn't look at him. I gazed at the ceiling with tears leaking from my bloodshot eyes. **_why would Edward ever love someone so messed up. A stupid, suicidal drug addict. I'm so pathetic and I don't understand it at all. _**I covered my face with my hands, sobbing like a pathetic person would. Edward sighed and pulled my arms away from my red, tear-stained face, exposing me to him.**

**I closed my eyes ashamed and he cradled my face in his hand. "Bella, I was so afraid I was going to loose you. Why the hell would you do that to yourself?!" He was very upset with me and it only made me cry harder. He pulled me tightly to his chest and rocked us back and forth, humming my lullaby in my ear. Minutes passed and I eventually cried myself into dream filled sleep.**

**DREAM: **_I walked down the isle, my white satin dress flowing out behind me like a milky stream. I looked ahead and found my Edward in a dazzling back tux, waiting for me under an arch of red roses. Our eyes met and love radiated, binding us together as true soul-mates…_

********

**I bolted upright, shocked out of the dream. My breathing was erratic and sweat matted some loose strands of hair to my forehead. My puffy eyes watered up again and beads of salty water cascaded over my cheeks. **_It wasn't real. It wasn't real. No matter how bad I wanted it, it could never be real. _**I sniffled and looked around. I was in Edward's room again. I groaned and flipped out of bed, heading for the door.**

**Edward opened it before I could and leaned against the door frame, watching me intently. "How are you feeling?" He asked quietly and I looked at him indecorously. "That's kind of a dumb question, don't you think?" He didn't answer and I sighed, running a hand through my tangled hair. "I'm going to take a shower" I said and walked around him to the bathroom.**

**I undressed myself silently and gazed at my scarred body in the mirror. There were old ones, that just paled out and turned into a gray-**_ish _**color, recent ones that were scabbing, and new ones that were dark pink. All of them marked my skin and I never came to notice how much damage I inflicted on myself. I felt so disgusted and angry with myself. I clutched my hair and yanked at it as hard as I could, screaming in frustration. Edward rushed in and grabbed my hands, trying to loosen my grip.**

"**Stop! Bella stop it now!" He growled and I finally gave up and stopped pulling. I sobbed loudly and lowered myself to the marble floor. **_Now Edward can see 'me'_


	13. Ready to Change

**I lay there sobbing in shame as Edward gasped at the scars from my razor. He pulled me to my feet and shook me roughly. His eyes were pure black and angry. "Bella look at yourself! Look at what you did! Do you realize that you'll be stuck with these for the rest of your life?! Why do you keep doing these things to yourself?!" He growled as he made me face the mirror. I looked away, not wanting to see myself.**

**He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him and I unwillingly complied. He gazed deep into my eyes for a moment, sadness slowly replacing the anger and he crushed me to him, holding me tightly to his chest. I closed my eyes as he carefully caressed the side of my face, like I was a delicate rose petal . "Please let me help you. It rips me apart knowing that you want to end your own life. It just kills me" His voice broke and I knew he was right about everything.**

**I always believed that I was fine. Always cutting myself and taking drugs so I could escape the pain and the memories. But I was wrong all along. I couldn't run away from it because deep down, a part of me always knew it was all real. It wasn't just a bad dream that I could wake up from and move past. I can't pretend that it never happened, because it did. I pulled back so I could see him and took a deep breath before making my final decision. **_I'm ready to change now, Edward. _**"Edward, I want to get better" I whispered and his eyes widened in shock.**

"**Really?" He asked and his smile widened when I nodded. "Yes, I'm ready to get help" I answered and he lifted me off the ground and spun us in a circle. He leaned towards me and I knew what he was trying to do. I pulled away and he looked at me with hurt and confusion, clouding his god-like features. "I'm not ready for that, yet" I explained quickly before he could jump to conclusions and he smiled, understanding. I gave myself to him too easily last time and ended up getting my heart broken and I'm definitely not going to make the same mistake twice. I trusted Edward to a certain level but not fully. "Bella, I swear I will never fail you again" He sealed his words with a kiss on my forehead and I rested my head his shoulder, smiling slightly.**

********

**The rest of the family came home later that evening and Edward announced the great news to them. They showered me with hugs and kisses and I was completely shocked when Rosalie pulled me into her embrace. We've never been on good terms and I have to admit, with the way she looks at me sometimes, it just scares the shit out of me. She gave me a warm smile before stepping back to let Esme and Carlisle by. Esme's eyes were glistening with tears that would never fall and Carlisle smiled happily.**

"**I apologize for my behavior lately. I have been very disrespectful to you and you guys have been nothing but kind to me" They both shook their heads in disagreement and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Bella, you have been going through so much and you have no reason to apologize to us. We are the ones who should be apologizing to you" Carlisle said and Esme nodded.**

**I hugged both of them and was knocked to the ground immediately by a crazy pixie with black spiky hair. "OMG, Bella we are going to have so much fun! We could go shopping and buy the whole mall-" She was cut off by a furious Edward. "ALICE!" He shouted as he came to help me up "Ouch" I muttered as I rubbed the back of my head. "Sorry" She mumbled glumly and I had a strong urge to run and knock her over myself. "Alice, I would love to go shopping with you. I'm in desperate need for a girls night out" I said and she squealed so loud that I had to cover my ears. **

"**Thank you so much Bella, we are going to fun! Since your darker side has seemed to come out, Rose and I should take you clubbing sometime" She offered and I looked away, trying to hide my small blush. "I've already been clubbing" I mumbled and everyone gasped in shock, except for Edward who was fuming. "Really?! Does that mean you already had your first drink?" She asked and I nodded. "Drink**_s_**" I emphasized the (**_s_**) and I swear I heard Edward growl a little. "I never knew you had it in you Bella" Rosalie said and I blushed again. **

"**Tell me all about it!" Alice demanded and I chewed the inside of my cheek, thinking of a good enough summery that didn't include the 'incident' that had occured that night. "Um, well it was very interesting. Marcia got us fake ID's to get in and we just had a good time" I lied at the last part, but I hope it was casual enough. Pain struck me as I thought of her and I shuffled quickly through my head for a different subject.**

"**Details!" Alice pressed and I sighed, exasperated. Edward cleared his throat and we all looked at him. "Bella must be exhausted with everything that has happened today and I think it would be a lot better if we moved this conversation to a more appropriate hour" He said and I smiled at him. "Thank you" I mouthed to him and he mouthed "Anytime" in return. We shared our last hugs and murmured our "Goodnights" to each other before heading to our rooms. I went with Edward to his and he help me get settled to go to sleep. For once I could finally sleep peacefully with a smile on my face.**


	14. Rosalie

**It was around 11:00 when I woke up. I headed down the stairs and found everyone watching tv in the living room. "Good morning" I greeted and Edward appeared in front of me and kissed my cheek. "Morning" He said and disappeared into the other room.**

**I plopped down on the sofa next to Emmett and he tossed his arm lazily across my shoulders. "We're going to the beach in about an hour. You wanna come?" Emmett asked when Alice danced into the room.**

"**Of course she's coming! Right Bella?" She gave me the saddest look and I pursed my lips, irritated. "You make it sound like I have a choice" **

"**That's the spirit! Come with me, I have the perfect bikini outfit for you" She pulled me along with her and I yanked my arm away. **

"**I'm not swimming" Her golden eyes squinted at me and next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of her bedroom, completely nude.**

"**Dammit, Alice!" I shouted, desperately trying to cover myself. "Oh, relax Bella! We're both girls" She came out of her mall-sized closet, holding 3 different bathing suits.**

"**This one is yours" She handed me the black one and I took it awkwardly. "Why black?" I was honestly curious. Before, she always chose blue for me. **

"**Because it matches your style these days" I raised my eyebrows at her, wondering if I should be 'touched' or offended. What did she mean, **_**my style**_**? I mean it wasn't like I wore black **_**all**_** the time.**

"**Don't you dare question my sense of fashion **_**missy**_**! You'll look just fabulous once it's on" I rolled my eyes at her as she gave me a light push towards the bathroom.**

**I slipped on the bikini and walked out without taking one glance in the mirror. I didn't really care what I looked like anyway. **

**Alice wasn't in the room when I came out so I just slipped my shirt back on and went downstairs. Everyone was already in their swim suits and ready to go. My eyes nearly popped out and rolled away when Edward strolled in with only a pair of black swim trunks on and no shirt. **

**I heard someone clearing their throat and so I quickly composed myself and turned to face everyone else but from the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's smirk.**

"**Kay guys let's go!" Emmett jumped out and ran out to the car. "You look really nice, Bella" Rosalie's beautiful voice sounded from behind me. My eyes widened and my words came out in a jumble. "Th-anks Ro-salie umm, you look rea-lly nice too" She wore a red bikini that showed off her perfect super-model body.**

**I had no idea why I was even wearing a bikini in the first place. I had no body to show off. Rosalie looked like a freakin' runway model compared to me. I was just a messed up drug addict with cutting problems. I could let them try and fix me, but that didn't mean that I would be completely healed.**

"**You can call me Rose you know. Whenever you call me Rosalie, I think I've done something wrong" Her friendly smile almost made me faint, but I pulled myself together.**

**I nodded, smiling back. "Rose" I corrected myself.**

"**We better get going. I can hear Emmett complaining out there" I grabbed my sunglasses and followed her out. I was glad that we were on somewhat good terms now. We weren't exactly best friends yet, but were getting there.**


	15. Stupid Emmett

_**"Where are we going?" I asked as trees blurred past us. Alice laughed. "Well today is unusually sunny so it's not like we can go to any public beaches. Were going to a private beach" She rolled her eyes as if it were completely obvious.**_

_**We got there about seven minutes later and I gasped in shock when I saw it. The sun shined through a small opening where the trees weren't blocking it. Clear water gleamed like crystals around a small waterfall, brushing gently against the pale sand. "It's so beautiful" I murmured, completely amazed by it. These are the things I believed were only in movies and books, but never really real.**_

_**"I'm glad you like it" Edward stood by me, enjoying the view with me. I tore my eyes away to look at him. "You found this place?" I asked, truly curious and he nodded. "Yes, I like to come here sometimes to think" I was about to ask him something when I heard a loud splash and looked down to see my shirt soaking wet.**_

_**"Son of a b-" Alice's hand clamped down on my mouth so the rest of my words were muffled. I clenched my fists, fuming as Emmett began laughing hysterically. Alice removed her hand and a few giggled slipped from her too.**_

_**I looked around for something to throw at him and grinned evilly when I spotted a pile of rocks near a tree. I sprinted over to it and grabbed the largest rock. Emmett looked at me in mock horror when he saw me with a rock and I chuckled darkly.**_

_**I lifted the rock to throw but it's heavy weight threw me off balance a little. The rock slid out of my struggling hold and landed precisely on my left foot. "Ouch, dammit!" I screamed, hopping up and down. "Bella watch your step!" Edward shouted but it was too late.**_

_**I accidentally stepped on a moss covered rock and slipped over the edge. I screamed as I fell, but relief washed through me when I only hit the water. I resurfaced with the dirtiest look on my face. "It's so damn cold!" I shivered, rubbing the sides of my arms. Emmett was laughing so hard that he fell back into the water.**_

_**Anger washed over me and all I wanted to do was beat the shit out of Emmett. I grabbed a medium sized stone that was embedded in the powdery sand and waited for him to come back up. When he did, I launched the stone with a much force as I could manage, at the back of his head.**_

_**"Hey!" Emmett whipped around and saw me. I tackled and punched him but he didn't even seem frazzled at all. He started laughing again, tossing me into the air. I coughed up some water and charged back towards him but suddenly I felt Edward's arm wrap around my torso, holding me back.**_

_**"Let me go! I'm not gonna stop until I beat that little fucker's ass!" I yelled but his grip didn't loosen. Emmett started making baby faces at me and it just added to the fire, raging in me.**_

_**"Emmett, could you stop teasing Bella. That would be a smart thing to do, don't you think?" Emmett grinned, but agreed. "Sure, whatever you say Eddie boy. I'm too much for her to handle anyway" He teased again, flexing his muscles and I rolled my eyes. "I want to show you something" Edward murmured in my ear. "Sure" He pulled me down the river, and went through a small cave that led to another area. "Oh my god"**_


	16. Nearly a Slip

_**There was a small pool surrounded by wildflowers. It was so amazing and all I wanted at the moment was to jump right into it. "Your always full of surprises" I muttered under my breath and he chuckled, running a hand through his tousled bronze hair. "No, I'm just observant" I rolled my eyes at him and he playfully splashed me with water. I was about to throw a fit again but then thought twice about it**__**.**_

**I was already soaked so why not anyway? Enjoy the moment while it still lasts. I splashed him back and he smiled. We continued splashing each other and laughing and just having a very good time. After hours of water play, we finally went back to catch up with the rest of the Cullens.**

**I sneaked a look at Edward as he was drying off. I was nearly drooling at the sight of him running the fluffy white towel over his abs. **Damn he is one juicy piece of man meat.** "Hey Bella, you better close your mouth before the flies settle up in there" Emmett neatly dodged the slipper I aimed at him. Edward raised an eyebrow and I felt the redness staining my pale cheeks.**

********

**I went up to the shower as soon as we got home, eager to get the sand out of my hair. The shower steam clouded the mirrors and I stepped into the hot spray. I grabbed my strawberry shampoo from the metal rack and jumped slightly when I heard something clatter onto the floor of the tub. I looked down curiously and found my pink shaver laying there in the stream of the water.**

**My eyes widened as I picked it up and shuddered when the urge to cut came back. **Should I do it? I mean, one cut won't kill me. I'm still recovering, so a few slips were to be expected… **Someone knocked at the door and I instinctively dropped it. "Bella honey, are you alright in there? Did you run out of soap?" Esme's soft voice sounded from outside the door. "No, I'm fine! Sorry, I'm almost finished in here" I said quickly, fidgeting nervously with my hands.**

"**Okay then. Come downstairs when your finished, I made your dinner" She said. "Thanks Esme"**

"**No problem"**

**I bent down to retrieve the shaver again, eyeing it carefully. **No, I won't make the same mistake again.**Having decided, I opened the shower door and tossed it into the trash can. I exhaled sharply and smiled. **

********

"**Esme this tastes perfect. Your really good at this" I commented, stabbing another piece of steak and popping it into my mouth. She placed a hand on my shoulder and sighed happily. "Thank you Bella, even though I can't eat any of it, I enjoy cooking" I just had to smile at that. She's always so kind to everyone. I don't understand how someone so sweet could have deserved this great amount of sadness. First she loses her only child, then unexpectedly gets turned into a vampire. I'd be happy to be a vampire but I guess that some prefer to live the boring human life.**

"**So, how have you been doing so far? Any problems come up?" Carlisle strolled into the room, followed by the Cullen 'children'. **Glad I got better at this lying thing. **"Not at all. I feel a lot better these days" I said casually and he nodded, reading my expression. "Very good then, hopefully that keeps up" He called Esme into the other room, maybe to talk or something while Edward and Alice came to sit at the table with me. Alice eyed the food with disgust and I snorted. "You know Alice, this may seem gross to you but you guys drinking animal blood is extremely revolting to me so don't judge" I defended and she turned her head to smirk. "I saw that" I mumbled and Edward chuckled, taking my hand in his. I was about to protest but he silenced me with his eyes.**

"**Friend hold hands too" He stated and I shrugged indifferently. "Just checking"**

**I turned to Alice and saw a vacant expression on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew that look. It means that she was having a vision. I looked at Edward but he seemed just as lost in thought. His face showed anger and that got me confused. "Alice, what's going on?" The sudden rapping at the door cut her off and she shot me a pleading look instead. I got up and gestured towards the door and she nodded. I walked over with Edward right behind me. I opened it and nearly fainted when I saw who it was. **

"**Why are you here?"**


	17. Problems

"**That isn't the way to greet your best friends, Izzy" Marcia said. I gave her an indecorous look. How could they just pack up their shit and leave me behind, then months later show up at the Cullen's doorstep, acting as if it never even happened? "Why are you here?" I demanded again and she sighed. "Well, Christy caught her boyfriend fucking some whore and she broke up with him. She convinced me to come back with her" She stopped when I started laughing. "You guys thought you could stay with me?" I asked, unbelieving. She nodded and I shook my head. "I don't think that's such a good idea" I said. "Come on Izzy, we need a place to crash. We need to catch up with each other anyway don't we? We could do more cutting and heroin. Hey, we should even do some shots!" Christy said.**

**I just stared blankly at them. "I gave that up a while ago. Edward and his family are helping me get over the addiction" I said and they scowled at Edward who I forget was still behind me. "Izzy, you can't trust them. They left you, remember? I'm sure you do. You would have died without us" My teeth were clenched and my hand were balled up into fists now. "Wow Christy, I'm glad to know that you have so much faith in me" My voice was thick with sarcasm, but then actually thought about it. **_Maybe she is right. they did leave me before, and that really fucked me up. Who's to say that they won't end up leaving again? If I go with them, I just might be able to save myself from it._

**I felt Edward take my hand in his. "I know I made a huge mistake Bella, I would give anything to go back and change it. I swear to you, as did the others. I will never leave you alone again. I'm by your side until you order me away" I smiled at him and he returned it. His eyes filled with so many emotions. Love, sadness… hope. Christy yanked me by the hair. "What the hell, Christy! What's your fucking problem?!" I shouted, stumbling back into Edward, who I was grateful for, **_**for **_**catching me. The Cullen's came rushing out, crouched and ready to protect me.**

**Marcia just stood there with her hands behind her back, obviously hiding something. Anyone could tell just by the sly look on her face. Edward positioned himself slightly in front of me, protectively. "Both of you need to leave" He growled, causing them to back up a bit. Christy composed herself, keeping only a slight space between us.**

**She just looked at me, ignoring everyone's glares and warnings, giving me one last chance. I shook my head. "No Christy, Marcia. I'm done doing all that shit" She suddenly snapped her finger and Marcia rushed forward with the syringe, ready to drug me with it. Edward grabbed her wrist, squeezing it in his hand. I flinched at the crunching sound of her bones breaking, followed closely by her sharp, piercing cries of pain. "Edward, let her go" I commanded and he instantly released his death grip on her, but still continued to glare. I scowled down at Marcia, who was on the ground cradling her mangled wrist and Christy, who just stood there with a cold expression and pointed towards the dark, silent night outside. "Leave now while you still have the chance because I swear to god I won't stop him next time"**

"**Let's go Marcia. We'll see her again" She helped Marcia up and they both leaved. I turned to Edward and saw him staring after them. "Edward?" I tried to shake him but he was frozen in place. "Come on, we'll talk about his later" Alice put a hand on his shoulder and took him inside. "Bella are you okay?" Carlisle asked. **

"**I don't know" **


	18. Love Again

**My mind was spinning as I marched up the stairs to the bathroom. **_**I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe they're back. **_**I knew that I made the right choice, and If they actually cared for me, they would respect my decisions. I squeezed a glob of paste onto my brush and began cleaning my teeth with unnecessary force. **

**After I finished, I went to Edward's room and laid down, but was careful not to fall asleep. I knew they were going to discuss what happened and I needed to know what was going on. Just then, Edward came in. "Are you okay?" I asked, sitting up and patting the empty space next to me. He sat down and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah I'm just fine, but you shouldn't worry about me. You don't have to worry about anything, really. We're going to take care of it" **

**I sighed, closing my eyes. "I did it again" I whispered. "Did what, exactly?" **

"**Put you and your family at risk, all because of me. It's all my fault"**

**The bed suddenly disappeared beneath me and my eyes snapped open when I realized that I was in Edward's lap. He hugged me tightly to him and smoothed my crinkled hair. My body was completely tense but eventually relaxed into his arms. I've never felt this close to anyone in a long time, but this feels…right.**

"**Bella, none of this is your fault. If anything, It was mine for leaving but never yours" **

**After a few minutes, I pretended to be asleep and he gently placed me under the covers and tucked me in before leaving the room. I waited until I heard the door close before slowly crossing the room to the door. I pressed my ear against the cool wood, listening. **

"**I heard their thoughts. They both felt betrayed by Bella for choosing to stay here with us. Christy was plotting ways in her head to get revenge on her. She wants… to kill her" Edward said. I gasped quietly at this. **_**They want me dead. That explains why Edward was acting so strange earlier…**_

"**But what are we going to do? We can't just kill those girls. They're humans!" Esme asked, worriedly. "Of course we won't harm them… if we can avoid that type of situation. We'll just have to make sure one of us is always with Bella so she is completely safe and protected" Carlisle reassured her. "I'm staying with her" Edward growled darkly.**

"**Edward, you'll have to go hunting eventually" Alice chimed in. "Soon anyways. You haven't gone at all this past month" **

"**Fine, but only if it is absolutely necessary"**

**I leaned away from the door and crawled back over to the bed. **_**Jeeze, what a boatload of shit I'm in… **_**I drifted in and out of sleep at random moments and I was beginning to get very agitated. I needed to stay awake in case they talked more about it. I reached the back of my shoulder and pinched the skin hard. "Ouch!" **

**The sudden shock kept me up for a little while until my eyelids started drooping again. "Damn" I muttered, rolling out of bed once again. I wanted to see Edward. I shot a glance at the clock to check the time. **_**3:18 AM. **_**I stretched out my aching muscles and paced towards the door. The lights were off so it made it more difficult getting downstairs. The house was so quiet, anyone would have believed there wasn't anybody home. But I knew they were all here. They were probably in their rooms or something.**

**I bit my lower lip when I was finally past the treacherous stairs, looking blankly around the dark room. "Edward?" I called softly. "I'm out here" He relied from the back patio. I tilted my head to the side. **_**What's he doing out there? **_**There was a faint glow through the satin curtains that helped me find the backdoor to the patio. I pushed open the glass door and stepped out into the moonlit night. Edward was sitting on a bench, staring up at the moon. He didn't acknowledge my presence, but I knew that he had heard me come outside. I sighed and went to join him on the bench. I looked up, seeing all the stars scattered around the dominating moon. "It's beautiful" I said. **

"**Yes, I guess it is"**

**The wind picked up, sending a cool breeze around me. I shivered slightly, rubbing the sides of my arms to create friction. Edward looked down at me and shrugged out of his coat. He helped me slide my arms into the long sleeves, and rolled them up a bit to free my hands. "Thanks" I muttered and he smiled. "Of course, Bella" . I looked down at my hands, twisting them nervously. "Edward, I wanted to tell you something…" I began and he nodded for me to continue. **

"**You wanted to kiss me the other night and I stopped you because I didn't know if I could trust you…," Edward's eyes were focused on my face, listening. "Well I've been thinking the past few days and I think, no I know, that I'm still in love with you and… If you say you aren't going to leave me ever again, then… I believe you" I took a deep breath, waiting for his reaction.**

**His eyes lit up and he smiled the biggest smile I've seen in the past days. "Forever" He murmured and inclined towards me. I leaned forward, closing my eyes as our lips met for the first time in three years. Three long years of hurt and sadness just vanished in that moment. His lips sent a spark though my entire body. Our lips moved together, my hands secure around his neck and his weaved into my jet black hair. Without breaking the kiss, I moved onto his lap, straddling him. I heard his sharp intake of breath, but he didn't stop me, yet.**

**I started really deepening the kiss when Edward finally pulled away from me. "Bella, we have to stop" He breathed, leaning in till our foreheads were touching. I could feel myself going into full pout mode, but I didn't say anything. Edward noticed this and chuckled softly. "You know why we can't"**

"**I know, It's just that I've missed you so much an-" He pressed his lips to mine, silencing me. When we broke apart, I started again. "So much has changed the past three years"**

**Edward raised his eyebrow playfully, giving me a funny look. "I'd say. You wear make-up, high heels, designer clothes. You even changed your hair! It's black!" I blushed at the last one. " Hey, I think It looks great, thank you very much!" He ruffled my hair, which I smoothed out as best as I could. "You look perfect with either. Your still my Bella" **


	19. Celebrating

**AN: We are back with a new chapter finally! We hope you enjoy it. Always leave a review for Chrissy. -Evie Lynn :)**

**The brilliant sun on my face woke me the in the morning. I felt Edward's arms tighten around me as my eyes slowly opened. "Good morning, love" He murmured with a soft smile playing at his lips. I smiled back and sat up to stretch. "Good morning to you too" I said.**

**What happened last night put me on a completely different path from the one I've been on the past 2 years but I would be making a big fat lie if I said that I didn't still have doubts. Of course I did, but hey, who came blame me? **

"**Would you like to have breakfast?" He asked when my stomach gurgled and we both laughed. "Yes, please" He held the door open for me and the smell of freshly made blueberry waffles swirling around in the open air had me sprinting full speed through it.**

**Everyone was in the living room with huge smiles plastered on their faces as we came in and I was even a little surprised to see Rosalie grinning at me.**

**Esme had set up the whole dining table for me. There was a chocolate cake with blue icing that made out words that I couldn't read very well from where I was standing, beautifully wrapped boxes with satin ribbons, fancy cards and last but not least, my blueberry waffles that were topped with whipped cream and perfectly ripe strawberries with a glass of milk.**

"**Wow guys! What's the occasion?" I asked, truly shocked. Alice danced over to me with a small box wrapped in a purple material that honestly looked quite expensive. "You, silly!" She handed me her box and I took it, eyeing her suspiciously. **

"**Why me? It's not my birthday?" **

"**It's not for that. Your birthday is still a few months away and for that, we will throw an even bigger party. Today we are celebrating the fact that you and Edward are together and that we are going to be sisters again!" She squealed excitedly.**

**Carlisle walked over to me and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry Bella, none of it was expensive to us" His voice was calm as usual, but I noticed the livelier edge to it.**

**I snorted, crossing my arms over my chest. **Right. Nothing is _ever _expensive to you rich people. **Edward saw the expression on my face and laughed. I noticed that that was different too. I've heard him laugh a lot. His sweet, velvety laugh was always appealing to me, but this one seemed more real. Like he actually wanted to.**

**It's so hard to explain, but the amount of happiness that I felt in that moment of truth was incomparable to anything else in the world. Well, maybe there are just 2 exceptions. One was the first day he took me to the meadow. And then the moment he told me he loved me and wanted me forever.**

Well I guess we all know how it ended up. **I chuckled inwardly. I really want to believe that there is still hope for my happy ending. It would just be a little different than the one I dreamed of. And one hell of a story change in my fairy tale too.**

**It was just like a light bulb going off in my head. What about Christy and Marcia? I haven't heard from them since the other night and I know it wasn't the slightest bit close to a "**Hey, it's so nice to see you!**", type of thing. It was actually more like a full on battle between my former drug addict friends, and former drug addict/suicidal me with the Cullens.**

**I could brush it under the rug and forget about it until later, but I knew something definitely didn't feel right, and that it wasn't over.**

_But it will have to wait for now…_

"**Don't worry Bella! Really, all of this is a million times lighter than a feather's touch against the family account" Emmett grinned widely and winked.**

**Esme stood up then and wrapped me up in a motherly hug. "I really hope you like it. We all kinda pitched in to do this" Renee rarely hugged me this way when I was younger, and when she married Phil, she just stopped doing it altogether. **

**Renee told me it was something about Phil feeling like he didn't get the "special" attention that I did. Or felt I did, to be exact. The truth was that I never did, and the other truth is that Phil was just a sad asshole that needed somewhere to live so he ended up bunking with my mother, and I ended up cleaning up after both of them.**

**Come to think of it, my whole life from childhood through teen years was fucked up. I grew up, looking after Renee and her husband. Caring for her. She was supposed to be the mother! Not the other way around. She was supposed to care for me and protect me!**

**I felt the tears prickling in my eyes as I registered this for the first time. I felt the new pain tearing at me but I wouldn't let it break me. I've spent a lot of my life taking care of other people, and never myself. When I met the Cullens, I've been the same.**

**But them leaving changed me. I've learned to care for myself and do things to my satisfaction. That's where my story changed. When my life changed…**

"**Sweetheart, why are you crying?" She asked as she pulled away to look at me, lines creasing her perfect face into a look of worry.**

**I smiled reassuringly at her and wiped under my eyes. "I'm perfectly fine. I'm just realizing how much you remind me of the mother I never had in my life until now." **

**Everyone gasped in surprise and Esme's eyes filled with tears of venom that were impossible to escape. "Thank you very much, Bella. That means a lot me. I've always thought of you as a daughter" She beamed, sniffling instinctively.**

**I hugged her one more time and turned to everyone with a sheepish grin on my face. "Alright then. Let's get this party started"**


	20. Parties and Presents

**AN: Hey guys! Heres a new chapter for you and we hope you like it. Not very many reviewed last chapter but we'd like to say thank you to everyone who did. Again, please please please review!! We want to know what you think and if you have any questions.**

**PS: We won't be able to update EVERY single day, so don't freak out because it could be just a day late. We'd let you know if there was a hold up.**

**Previously: "Thank you very much, Bella. That means a lot me. I've always thought of you as a daughter" She beamed, sniffling instinctively.**

**I hugged her one more time and turned to everyone with a sheepish grin on my face. "Alright then. Let's get this party started"**

_********_

"_**Yay! Okay, so let's cut the cake first" Alice said and skipped around to the table. **_

_**I sighed and said, "Why do we need so much food anyway? It's not like I can finish it all that cake and waffles by myself"**_

"_**We know that. You can just eat whatever you want and we'll throw out the rest. No big deal" She shrugged it off and began cutting the cake, putting two slices on a plate for me.**_

"_**Thanks," I muttered to her and to everyone else. "This was really kind of you guys to do this for us"**_

_**Edward came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, making me jump a little. "It's all for you" **_**He said, smiling widely. I couldn't believe that after all these years that Edward could still make me forget every single thing when he did stuff like that. The whole **_**Dazzle me **_**thing was getting pretty ridiculous.**

**I tilted my head up so he could reach my lips and when he did, the usual spark shot through me and everyone clapped and cheered.**

**Emmett pumped the air with his fist and started jumping up and down like a giant kid. "WOO! I've been waiting to see that all morning. I knew Alice knew something about it all morning when she had that vision and she wouldn't tell us anything!"**

**He complained with a pouty look on his face.**

**We all laughed and Alice shoved Emmett playfully. "Well If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" She rolled her eyes.**

**I raised an eyebrow at her. "You had a vision?" I asked and she smiled confidently. "Yep, I sure did. I know exactly what's going to happen in the next few days or so" **

"**So what's gonna happen, then?"**

"**Just stuff that we should have done a while ago" She shot me a quick wink when I frowned. I had no clue what she was planning and I won't lie because it really scared the shit out of me. The pixie was crazy!**

**She noticed my frown and said, "Don't worry Bella, you'll find out later tonight" I scowled at her but she just smiled.**

"**So do you guys know what she's planning?" I asked the rest of them but they all just shook their heads. "Sorry, love, she's blocking me" Edward said apologetically.**

"**Whatever. I'll find out eventually and it can't be that bad right?" I was mostly trying to convince myself though. My stomach growled loudly and they laughed. "I'm think I'm going to eat now, if you don't mind" **

**I sat down and started eating instantly. I completely forgot how hungry I was and began snarfing down cake and waffles greedily without thinking, then chugged my milk till every last drop was in my stomach. **

**I was just about to pick up my fork again when a large hand enclosed around my small wrist. "Whoa there Bells! Slow down. We don't want you to choke and end this party because we have to drive you to the hospital!" Emmett gasped.**

**I shrugged but put my fork down. "Sorry, I was hungry" I patted my full belly happily and sighed.**

"**Excellent! Now you can start opening your presents!" Alice said, pushing the box she gave me earlier towards me. **

**I used a napkin to wipe the corners of my mouth to remove any traces of icing and picked up the tiny box.**

"**What is it?" I asked, rattling it between my fingers. "Open it!" She demanded impatiently.**

**I tore the thick layer of paper off carefully, wanting to save it and also because I really didn't want to get another paper cut again.**

**Underneath the paper was a small silver box and I already knew it was something expensive. "Alice-" I started. **

"**Open it" **

**I sighed and slid the lid off. Inside it was a beautiful white gold bracelet with 8 individual charms attached to it. Each charm had every one of the Cullen's names on it, including mine and embedded in each one were at least 30 small diamonds.**

**I gasped in shock, running my finger along the smooth gold of the bracelet, marveling it's delicate appearance.**

"**It's gorgeous" I said, stroking the sparkling diamonds. Suddenly I stopped and turned to look at Alice. "But it was obviously expensive. Damn it Alice, I thought I told you before that I don't like it when you guys spend this kind of money on me. This probably costed you a ton!" I exclaimed, waving the bracelet in her face. **

**She sighed, grabbing the bracelet. She looked at me with irritated eyes and faster than my eyes could follow, she snapped the bracelet onto my left wrist. "You know Bella, you should really learn to get over this issue you have with us buying you things. Out of all the things you've changed about yourself, I wish that this was one of them" She hissed menacingly at me and for the first time, I actually was truly frightened of her so I decided it was best to not argue.**

**I grabbed the next closest box and shook it again, listening. I heard nothing, but it was quite big. "That one's from me!" Emmett waved his hand with the hugest grin on his face.**

**I ripped off the deep green paper and was met face to face with my worst nightmare.**


	21. Crank up the love

**AN (PLEASE READ!): This chapter could be could be counted as rated M in a way but not exactly. ALSO! This chapter has a HUGE surprise in it and if anyone gets upset, let me tell you that we have the whole thing planned out and you won't be dissapointed at all, promise! ALSO! Christy & I are considering to change the rating to M, due to possible future chapters. We will also be having a poll up asking you guys whether or not you want Bella to become pregnant in any of the future chapters to come and if you want her to be changed into a vampire, so go right ahead and vote k? After all, the majority will rule accordingly! Okay, guess that's all then. Please enjoy and don't forget to REVIEW!!! :) **

**K so here we go...**

_**Previously: I grabbed the next closest box and shook it again, listening. I heard nothing, but it was quite big. "That one's from me!" Emmett waved his hand to catch my attention.**_

_**I ripped off the deep green paper and was met face to face with my worst nightmare.**_

_********_

**A big black box labeled Playboy in bold pink letters. Rosalie smacked Emmett in the back of his head so hard it gave off a loud cracking sound.**

"**HEY! That hurts you know!" Emmett whined, probing his potato shaped head with his fingers.**

"**Emmett, what is this?" I asked, trying to stay calm even though I was burning in flames on the inside. **

"**Em, I would watch out if I were you. She's pissed-" Jasper warned.**

**He grinned and winked, saying, "That, is a sexy bunny costume, lil' sis. Y'know, since you guys are back together now, it wouldn't be a bad thing to-" I grabbed the crystal vase from the counter and launched it at him. This took him completely off guard and he ended up ducking at the last second, the vase smashing into a thousand shards of blue crystal against the wall behind him.**

"**Whoa Belly! I'm just trying to help you out here. It's not my fault that Ed can't dominate well" Edward growled and ran after him. He chased him around the whole house while Emmett ran screaming like a little girl.**

**Edward was suddenly standing in front of me, brushing off his hands like he just finished taking care of a care free problem. "Where's, Emmett?" I asked, looking around curiously.**

"**Hey babe, can you help me out here!? It's not exactly the most comfortable feeling in the world to be hung up by your underwear" Emmett shouted from the front porch while Alice and Rose continued their giggling fit.**

**I raised my eyebrow but followed them out the front door that I never heard them open earlier and found Emmett hanging uncomfortably with wide eyes in a big oak tree.**

**Indeed, he was hanging by his boxer briefs… by a big kitchen knife forced deep into the bark. A few giggles escaped as I realized that it was the same knife Esme used to cut the cake inside and there was blue-ish' frosting all over Emmett's white t-shirt.**

**I laughed loudly with a huge grin on my face and high fived a pleased looking Edward. Carlisle and Esme came outside wrapped up in each others arms but I also noticed something small and silver in her hand. She handed it to Jasper with a soft smile on her rose colored lips, her bright golden eyes laced with nothing but humor.**

"**No way" I said in disbelief as Jasper held up the video camera to Emmett's greatly irritated face. **

"**I know, my love, isn't it great?" He murmured in my ear, kissing my temple gently. "Wow!" I squeaked as he nipped softly at my ear, tracing a razor sharp tooth very lightly around the edges. **

**He has never done that to me before. Ever. But I freakin' loved it! The feeling was indescribable and it just made me want to moan or something.**

"**Okay Emmie bear, I've had my laughs. Let's get you down now so we can have some **_**real **_**fun" She teased seductively, swaying her model-like hour glass figure towards him slowly. Emmett's eyes went from deep gold to pitch black in a matter of seconds and a low hiss came from his parted lips.**

"**Eww" I muttered turning around to bury my face in Edward's chest, feeling it vibrate with his silent chuckles.**

"**I know. Imagine living with these people for an entire century!" He pretended to shudder, but it just ended with him laughing harder.**

**Rose ripped the knife effortlessly out of the tree and threw it down beside her with perfect force so it stuck straight through the dry dirt and grass. She pounced on Emmett, knocking them both to the ground and they immediately began ravishing each other right in front of my poor naked eyes.**

"**Kay, I definitely think women are real good at riding but this just really disgusting" Jasper cried, shielding his eyes from the terrible sight. **

"**Excuse me?!," Alice screeched, causing Jasper to cringe away from her. "Women as in, more than one?!"**

"**Holy shit" I said and Edward nodded quickly in agreement.**

"**No, no Alice, that's not what I meant" He looked really scared and I almost felt bad for him. Almost.**

"**Well mister Texas Rider, let me show you how a real woman rides. A crazy fucking, vampire woman!" She reached up and grabbed his right ear tightly in her tiny pale fist and dragged a helpless Jasper back into the house.**

**I heard loud moans and screaming behind me and I refused with my life not to turn the fuck around. "Okay then, double eww" Edward took my hand and led me inside to the dining room table.**

"**Your family is so strange" I laughed and he laughed with me. He muttered something to himself that almost sounded like, "Our family".**

"**What?"**

"**Nothing. Sorry" He said, but I knew it wasn't just nothing. So what if he'd said it? It was no deal whatsoever? Did he mean it like- **

"**Oh!" I realization hit me and he looked down at the floor glumly.**

"**Edward, I mean- I know that- It's not like-" I couldn't even form a fucking sentence, I was completely flustered.**

"**I know." He interrupted, finally meeting my eyes with his own. "And it's definitely okay, I just- I just thought that maybe someday you will-" He looked away, ashamed and I reached over to touch his cheek lovingly. **

"**Yes" I whispered, my voice laced with a deep passion.**

**PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW WITH THE BIGGEST CHERRY ON TOP AND YOU'LL GET YOUR NEXT CHAPPIE TOMORROW!!! :) (AT LEAST 10) WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. DON'T FORGET TO VOTE. POLL ON PROFILE!!**


	22. Girlfirend soon to be Wife

**AN: Well we didn't reach the 10 review goal but we did get some at least. (Sigh). Here's another chapter for you and we hope you enjoy it. Please review!  ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN'T VOTED FOR THE POLL, VOTE NOW!! IT'S IMPORTANT AND IT BENEFITS BIG PARTS FOR THIS STORY! EVERY VOTE MAKES A DIFFERENCE! -Evie Lynn Rose :)**

_**Previously: "Edward, I mean- I know that- It's not like-" I couldn't even form a fucking sentence, I was completely flustered.**_

"_**I know." He interrupted, finally meeting my eyes with his own. "And it's definitely okay, I just- I just thought that maybe someday you will-" He looked away, ashamed and I reached over to touch his cheek lovingly. **_

"_**Yes" I whispered, my voice laced with a deep passion.**_

********

**He looked at me without blinking for several minutes, eyes wide with surprise, shock, and **_**happiness?**_

"**Yes!" I repeated, giving off a strange, almost besotted laugh but he didn't seem to notice. "Are you **_**serious**_**?" He asked, unsure.**

**My giggles stopped altogether as I looked him straight in the eyes. "Yes, I am serious." I confirmed. "I'm dead serious, and I would be more than honored to become your wife." I concluded as the biggest smile pulled across his face.**

"**Really?" He asked again, golden eyes sparkling. "Really."**

**He pulled me into his arms and danced us around the room, twirling us in circles. I even felt my own smile on my face at the thought of us getting married.**

**He set me down on the floor and a apologetic look crossed his face. "I know this probably wasn't the best way to commit to our engagement, but I wish to try again later the proper way" I smiled at him and nodded in agreement.**

"**Wow, you guys seem happy" Emmett and Rose said as they walked in, their clothes dirt-stained and hanging in loose tatters and their hair, specifically Rose, was unusually messy and knotted with dirt and dead forest leaves. She didn't look bad at all. She actually looked like a real nature goddess, to my self conscience. Although Emmett had the complete opposite affect.**

"**We are getting married!" I said enthusiastically and in my head I was jumping up and down the way Alice always did when she was in her happy mood. I think I was hanging out with her too much…**

"**Finally! It's about time you asked her Edward! I thought I would be at least Carlisle's age by the time you did!" He exclaimed.**

"**I heard that, Emmett!" Carlisle called as he and Esme joined us again in the living room. "I'm so happy for you guys" Esme said as she hugged us both together tightly, lifting us off the floor. "Mom!" Edward looked embarrassed and I knew he would have been blushing like crazy if he were still human.**

"**Now hush, Edward! You should never feel embarrassed to hug your mom!" She grinned teasingly and shot me a quick wink when Edward looked away. **

"**Right, of course it wouldn't be the slightest bit embarrassing to have your vampire mom to lift a hundred and thirteen year old like a seven year old boy off the floor" He rolled his eyes sarcastically and I laughed. Alice ran squealing down the stairs, pulling the rest of her clothes on with Jasper shaking his head in astonishment behind her.**

"**Yay, finally! I knew this was coming and I mean to be down here when you did but as you already know, I was a little… distracted for the time being." She said, smoothing out her spiky black hair.**

**I snorted and Edward kissed my neck from behind, causing the blood to rise to my face. **

"**I also know that you're going to let me work on your wedding. That includes everything like the dress, decorations, seating arrangements, wedding march, etcetera. You can choose the flavor of the cake since I can't really do that and you and Edward can work on choosing the music for the reception." She went on without looking at me. Probably picturing out the whole thing in that tiny head of hers.**

**All that really mattered to me was that we were married. A wedding was just a big extra plus that added to it but to me wasn't very important. Nothing extravagant was needed. If Alice wanted to do the wedding, well, what the heck just let her have it. Might as well let everyone have their fun too.**

"**Now, Alice-" Edward started but I interrupted him. "You know what Alice, I think I'm really crazy to say this but I will let you do **_**our**_** wedding" I put emphasis on the word '**_**our' **_**and reached for Edward's hand. He took mines gently, weaving out fingers together and placing a soft kiss on the back lovingly. He turned it over to place another kiss in my palm that left my fingers tingling, then pressed his lips against the crease of my wrist. **

**I closed my eyes and sighed as his lips lingered there. "Aww! So cute and romantic!" Alice cooed, and Jasper rested his chin on her shoulder.**

**Right then it hit me again. What about Christy and Marcia? All day I've never mentioned one word about them but I could feel the worry and concern eating away at me. I knew this wasn't the right time. But it never is the right time to and I knew it had to come up sometime.**

"**Guys I know I'm just about to ruin the moment now but I really have to ask something." I started and let myself look concerned. They nodded once to tell me to continue and so I did. "Everything that has happened since last night has been the best of my life and I absolutely regret nothing about it so far. But something has also happened and we can't just brush this off our shoulders. I know Christy is completely livid with me for what I did and I'm really… scared" **

**Edward pulled me tighter to him and secured his arms protectively around my torso. "Don't be, love. There is no need to worry at all. Alice is watching her future and so far there isn't a thing" He murmured soothingly but it only made me feel that much more worse.**

**I knew why Alice couldn't see her and that is because they haven't made their decisions yet. Which also means that they are most likely planning a way to get back at me and considering several options.**

**I let it slide for now but my mind still kept tabs on it. I would find a way to solve this tonight…**

"**Alright." I said casually, forcing a fake smile onto my face which they bought easily. **

**It's not that I hated them, because I didn't. I was sorrowfully grateful to have had them when I was in my zombie state, but no matter who did, I knew my true place was in the Cullen family and with Edward.**

**Even though he left before, he swore he'd never do it again and that it killed him to do it in the first place. I trusted him now with my life, and I knew he'd never hurt me again.**

**I regretted what happened that night though. Nobody was supposed to get seriously hurt, it was never my intention. And I definitely never expected in a million years to find them standing right outside on the Cullen's front porch.**

**I sighed sadly and they all heard it. Alice broke the silence and took my hand. "Come on Bella, we need to prepare for tonight. I already have the perfect outfit for you to wear!" She dragged me up the stairs with more force than needed and I almost thought she would dislocate my arm or something. It really hurt.**

"**Careful Alice!" Edward hissed at her but she waved him off, though her grip on my arm loosened. **

**What ever she planning, it was going to be a looonng night!**

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! IT ISN'T THAT HARD! AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! **


	23. Rose's lollipop man

**AN: (PLEASE READ!!!) What's going on people? We are getting less and less reviews every chappie! Come on guys! Keep the reviews comming! No sense in writing a story for people to read when they won't tell you what they think. Don't you think so? So please leave a review! Also, as said in another AN, this story will probably change to a rated M story for future chappies. Also, DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! A big part of the story will be written based on what the majority of voters want! Thank you to those who wrote me a review last chapter! you guys rock!**

**Previously: **_**Alice broke the silence and took my hand. "Come on Bella, we need to prepare for tonight. I already have the perfect outfit for you to wear!" She dragged me up the stairs with more force than needed and I almost thought she would dislocate my arm or something. It really hurt.**_

"_**Careful Alice!" Edward hissed at her but she waved him off, though her grip on my arm loosened. **_

_**What ever she planning, it was going to be a looonng night!**_

********

"**You look perfect!" Alice clapped excitedly and then slipped a thin silver head into my hair, tucking my bangs casually behind it. My long black hair was straightened, letting it flow in silky locks down my back like a stream of pure black ink.**

**I wore a pair of very short black shorts that showed off my slender pale legs, a tight fitting blood red shirt that hugged my natural curves nicely and showed a delicious amount of cleavage. Black buckle high healed boots to complete the outfit.**

**Alice put a dark line of black eyeliner on the edge of my lids, sparkly dark read shadow, and red lip-stick for my makeup. We used extra accessories like black bangle bracelets and earrings. I was ready and look sexy as hell.**

**Alice wore white skinny jeans and a snug black shirt with the words, 'vampire chick' in a silver elegant script across her chest.**

**I wondered what Rose and the guys were going to wear but I knew they'd all look amazing as usual. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?" I asked, folding me arms across my chest. **

**She grinned evilly and said, "We aren't going anywhere"**

**My brows furrowed in confusion. We weren't going anywhere? Then why are we dressing up?**

"**Then why are we all dressed up to go out?" I asked. She shook her head with that stupid grin on her face still. "It's karaoke night!" She said and my eyes widened.**

"**What?" I wanted to make sure I heard her correctly and she nodded in response. I was just about to throw the biggest bitch fit when the greatest thought came to mind. Alice raised an eyebrow like she was expecting to hear me complain but I didn't. Instead, I whispered my plan into her ear and she squealed, saying it was the best idea I've ever came up with and agreed to help me.**

**We traveled up to the third story of the Cullen's house where I usually never went and Alice pulled me down the hall and stopped in front of closed door. "Who's room is this?" I asked curiously. "It's the karaoke room" She opened the door and what was beyond it made my breath come out in a **_**whoosh!**_

**I Know I've never seen this room ever in my life. It was huge and I can't believe none of them told me about it. It was so mind-blowing and huge! It was bigger than Alice's room and her bathroom put together!**

**The flooring was pure black marble and there was a full stage up in the front and a walking path connected to it so someone could to walk up to the audience. There was an small island bar against the wall with bar stools lined up next to it and tables. Multi-colored lights flashed stunningly from the ceiling and flashed beautifully against the marble flooring.**

**Everyone was here already. I took me a moment to realize that they were hanging around by the leather seating and smiled as I came in. "Holy shit Bells! You look smokin'!" Emmett boomed from across the room where Alice and I had begun to approach. I laughed as they started giving me small high school boys' whistles. **

"**I told you so" Alice sang beside me and skipped over into her Jasper's awaiting arms. Edward stood up and started walking towards me. His eyes never left my body as he stared hungrily at it and I saw a brief flash of his dagger-ish teeth as he smirked.**

"**Hey" I said as his arms wound around my waist and pulled me flush against his body. He looked sexy as ever in his black button up shirt and dark jeans that hung dangerously low on his hips, his messy bronze hair making him look like the hottest male model on the planet.. I lick my lips and tilted my head back as he leaned down to me neck, skimming his soft nose across my neck and collar bone, inhaling my sweet scent.**

"**Mmm" He moaned softly, sending strange shivers down my spine. "You look so gorgeous" He murmured to me.**

"**Okay guys! Cullen karaoke night has officially begun! Tonight's special theme is 'Sexiest song & dance'!" Alice announced and a second later, she was standing in the middle of the stage, holding a purple glass bowl between her small hands. Edward lifted his head from my neck but kept his arm around me.**

**Her hand made a mixing motion as it stirred around in the bowl with head faced away so she couldn't see and pulled out what looked like a small piece of paper with a name on it. **

"**And it looks like Emmett's going to be our first entertainer of the night!" **

"**YES!" Emmett said as he wiggled his eyebrows at Rose, grinning. She snorted and rolled her eyes as he sprinted up to the stage. The music started and I smiled when I recognized the song. He shot a quick wink at Rose and started.**

"**This song is dedicated to my Rosie-pop!" **

"_**She say he so sweet make her wanna lick the rapperSo i letta lick the rapper Shawty say i lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipopShe say I lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipoplo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipopShe say I ..... like a lollipopShawty wanna thugbottles in the clubshawty wanna humpand ooo i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps( Repeat 2x )**_

**We were dancing around the stage while Rose climbed onto the stage with Em, and they started grinding with each other. I was a little surprised to see Carlisle and Esme dancing intimately together to the music too. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and I definitely knew I was.**_**Okay, lil' mama had a swag like mine even wear her hair down her back like mine **_

_**I make her feel right when its wrong like lyin'Man, she ain't never had a love like mine n' man i ain't never seen a ass like hers and that pussy in my mouth had me at a loss for words told her to back it up like erp erp and make that ass jump like shczerp shczerp and that's when she said i lo-lo-look like a lollipop( oh yeah I like that )she said I lo-lo-look like a lollipop( oh yeah I like that )she said I lo-lo-look like a lollipop( oh yeah I like that )shawty I lo-lo-lookin like a lollipop( oh yeah I like that )**_

**Alice and I were giggling hysterically when Emmett sang this part and I was laughing even harder when I saw the look on Edward's face.**

_**Shawty wanna thug( oh yeah i like that )bottles in the club( oh yeah i like that )shawty wanna hump( oh yeah i like that )and ooo i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps( Repeat 2x )**_

_**Shawty said the nigga that she with ain't shit Shawty said the nigga that she with ain't this Shawty said the nigga that she with can't hit And shawty ima' hit it (hit it) like I can't miss And I can't do this and I don't do that shawty needa a refund needa bring that nigga back this typa' refund I tell her bring that ass backand she bring that ass back (she bring that ass back)Shawty wanna thug( oh yeah i like that )bottles in the club( oh yeah i like that )Shawty say i lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipop She say i lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipoplo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipop**_

_**Wanna lick the rapper So i letta lick the rapper Shawty wanna thug( oh yeah i like that )bottles in the club( oh yeah i like that )shawty wanna hump( oh yeah i like that )and ooo i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps( Repeat 2x )**_

_**Call me so I can make it juicy for ya. (repeat several x)**_

_**Shawty wanna thug( oh yeah i like that )bottles in the club( oh yeah i like that )I get her on top she dro p it like it hotand when im on the bottom she hit the very bottomthen we in the bed givin gettin head ( givin gettin head givin gettin head )**_

_**Call me so I can make it juicy for ya. (Repeat several x) **_

_**say i lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipopShe say i lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipoplo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-look like a lollipop Wanna lick the rapper So i letta lick the rapper"**_

**Emmett did a back flip of the stage and landed in his ending pose, and we all screamed and cheered for him. Rose reached under her green mini dress, while I gave her weird looks for it, and heard something tear. She pulled her hand back up and in it was her green lace thong.**

**My face turned bright pink just by staring at that thing and Rose tossed it at her husband which he caught in his hand and stuffed it in the back pocket of his jeans.**

**I ran back over to Edward and wrapped my arms tightly around him. "Wow! Are all of you guys perfect at everything or what?"**

"**Kay big guy, it's time to get off the stage now!" Emmett pouted and Alice pushed him off the stage, causing him to go tumbling over with her skinny arms. Edward chuckled slightly at her impatience.**

"**Alright next up is Rose!" She smiled at her and handed her the mike as she stepped off stage.**

**AN: We don't own any of the songs we use. The song Emmett sang was 'lollipop' by lil' Wayne. PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE ONE LITTLE REVIEW! IT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY!**


	24. Sensual dancing

**AN: Wow! 6 reviews! That's way better than last time! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate it! :) Sorry if the lyrics for any of the songs come out with missing spaces or puntuations. My computer is acting kinda wierd today, but we tried to fix most of it. Please leave a review and also don't forget to vote! I'm taking the poll down in 3 days, so hurry & make your votes! -Evie Lynn Rose :)**

**Previously: **_**I ran back over to Edward and wrapped my arms tightly around him. "Wow! Are all of you guys perfect at everything or what?"**_

"_**Kay big guy, it's time to get off the stage now!" Emmett pouted and Alice pushed him off the stage, causing him to go tumbling over with her skinny arms. Edward chuckled slightly at her impatience.**_

"_**Alright next up is Rose!" She smiled at her and handed her the mike as she stepped off stage.**_

********

"**Now this one is dedicated to you, my sweet lollipop man" She blew him a kiss and Emmett reached out as if he was catching it, and brought his hand to his lips.**

**The loud music was pumping through the speakers and Rose swayed her hips side to side in perfect synchronization with the beat. She spun around a full 360 degrees in her high silver pumps without mistake and began to sing, using her eyes to flirt with her love.**

"_**Everybody look at me, me I walk in the door you start screaming Come on everybody what ch'you here for? Move your body around like a nympho Everybody get your necks to crack around All you crazy people come on jump around. I want to see you all on your knees, knees.**_

_**You either want to be with me, or be me! Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard Make you want all, of her love. She's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cords make you fall, real hard in love. She's a Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard Make you want all, of her love. She's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cords. Wish you never ever met her at all!**_

**She strutted out onto the walk-out stage then used her pointer finger to curl and uncurl it, drawing Emmett to her.**

_**And when she walks she walks with passion. when she talks, she talks like she can handle it. when she asks for something boy she means it even if you never ever seen it everybody get your necks to crack around. all you crazy people come on jump around you doing anything to keep her by your side because, she said she love you, love you long time!**_

**She slid down Emmett's body, her back facing him, and then slid back up like a snake.**

_**Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard. Make you want all, of her love. She's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cords make you fall, real hard in love. She's a Maneater, make you work hard. Make you spend hard. Make you want all, of her love.**_

_**She's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cords. Wish you never ever met her at all! **_

_**Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard Make you want all, of her love. She's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cords make you fall, real hard in love.**_

_**She's a Maneater, make you work hard Make you spend hard Make you want all, of her love. She's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cords. Wish you never ever met her at all! Never ever met her at all! you wish you never ever met her at all! you wish you never ever met her at all! you wish you never ever met her at all! you wish you never ever met her at all!"**_

**She finished with a bow and again we clapped and cheered for her. I couldn't believe how beautiful her voice was! They were all so damn good at everything they did… **

**I huffed and leaned back into Edward. He chuckled and said, "You know I've actually never heard you sing before" **

**I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Well I guess you're in for a big surprise then"**

**He raised an eyebrow teasingly at me. "Oh, really?"**

"**Yup"**

"**Alright, our next amazing performer is Bella!" Alice said, winking.**

"**That's my cue" I patted him on the back and walked up to the stage, feeling his eyes on me. Alice talked to Emmett right after we finished getting ready earlier and asked him to sing a certain part of the song for me. And of course with Alice you can do anything…**

**Alice tugged on the cord that moved the black stage curtains away, revealing a single stainless steel pole that traveled from the top ceiling down to the floor.**

**To be honest, I wasn't so into the whole stripper thing but it's excellent use for a nice sensual dance for Edward. Alice told me that they had occasional parties with it when they had family friends come over like the Denali Clan, but Edward never participated in them. He would always stay in his room.**

_Not this time, though… _**I peeked at him through my thick black lashes and saw that he was staring at me with darkened eyes filled with a mixture of shock, lust, and love. **

**The music started and I walked over to the pole, swaying my hips along the way. I swung my body around the pole as the intro played. Emmett jumped back on stage and stood on the side for now as a dancer. Edward gave me a look that said, "Is he supposed to be up there?" and I nodded once.**

**I bent over at a 90 degree angle so my butt was level with my chest and sang as slowly and seductively as possible.**

"_**I'll do whatever you likeI'll do whatever you likeI can do, I can doI do, I do whatever you likeWhat you want?I'll do whatever you likeI'll do whatever you likeI can do, I can doI do, I do whatever you like**_

**I grinded my hips against the pole and flipped my hair back. I slid down with the pole between my knees and swung them apart.**

**"_Boy, you want my body, Wanna ride it like a Harley. Once or twice around the block, I bet I'll have you saying whoa, whoa! First stop, let me pop. Drop like a helicop._****_Pay attention on me while I show you the scenario. _**

**_You charming me boy Yeah boy, you're charming me Just like this beat is gonna doon the radio. Damn, I thought you knew me by way you're talking to me You get any closer to me Then I might just have to let it go._**

**_Something 'bout that cocky thing, you got me wanna see what's really going on I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna I'm gonna do anything you wanna I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna, I'm gonna anything you wanna, I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like, I can do, I can do, I do, I do whatever you like. I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like, I can do, I can do, I do, I do whatever you like._**

**I slowly rose from my squatting position, letting my hands roam the sides of my body.**

_**Make a bed, You put the cat in the nap. I'll tell you what side I get, all night lover... See the cheek Wanna see me, make it speak. Watch it while mommy teaching I won't stutter. I can tell you had never had a touch. Hood up while I show this much, I'll do that for ya Playing a step. Promise I can make it rain, Lemme' see that sugar, king You like that, don't you?**_

**I did a signature twist around the bar and the boys gave me some flirtatious whistles. Alice, Esme, and Rose just clapped and cheered with them.**

_**Something 'bout that cocky thing, You got me wanna see what's really going on. I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna. I'm gonna do anything you wanna, I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna. I'm gonna do anything you wanna. I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like,I can do, I can do, I do, I do whatever you like. I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like, I can do, I can do, I do, I do whatever you like"**_

**When Emmett's part came, I began doing impressive flips and twists as he stepped forward to sing. Most of the tricks I learned, Christy and Marcia taught me from before.**

_**"See me in the back Chick like that. Get you to run around But i can hear like that I said you run around. I'm the shit like that Eat it, beat it, till it's swollen. You gonna need an ice pack. I'll tell her big thang poppin'. Let me hear you say that Lay back, play that, purp, Kush, blowing in the may back Work my company. Three of them and one of me Imagine what they done to me. On top of me, up under me. Accept no imitation baby Other can't be hatin'. And they'll be all in ya face I mean all in the wussy See, I can take you on vacation. A weekend ball in the "A"You hit me up four in the mornin'. What you callin' to stay, shorty"**_

**Emmett stepped aside again and I moved forward towards my audience and away from the bar. I was getting ready for the dance solo that was so popular for this song.**

_**"Something 'bout that cocky thing You got me wanna see what's really going on. I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna. I'm gonna do anything you wanna, I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna I'm gonna do anything you wanna. I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like. I can do, I can do, I do, I do whatever you like. I'll do whatever you like, I'll do whatever you like, I can do, I can do-"**_

"_**Wait a minute, motherf..…"**_

**I started dancing the same exact dance '**_**Nicole Scherzinger' **_**did in the music video for this part. It was so popular and a lot of people attempted it. Although, Marcia was a very talented dancer and could dance to pretty much anything. Classical, hip hop, salsa… you name it, and she helped me with this one. She was a natural…**

_**I've been looking all night, Wanna kiss you one time. Mommy do what you like. Go head pull it pull it pull it pull it? First you gotta get it right. I can love you long time. I become a big crime. Then I'll pull it pull it pull it pull it? What she want it uptight I promise a goodnight Girl, you're gonna sleep tight. When I pull it pull it pull it pull it. Wanna look at your eyes. When you get the big prize. Gonna give it a kind. When I pull it pull it pull it pull it…"**_

**Alice screamed and ran to the stage, pulling me into the biggest bone crushing hug for someone so small like her. **

"**OH MY GOD!! YOU TOTALLY PULLED THAT ONE OFF!! YOU GUYS LOOKED SO COOL UP THERE. AND THAT DANCE! WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DANCE LIKE THAT, BELLA?! YOU DID IT SO PERFECTLY AD SMOOTHLY WITHOUT EVEN TRIPPING ONCE!"**

**I had to cover my ears to keep myself from going completely deaf since she was basically shouting in my ear.**

"**Jeeze' Allie-Kinz, it probably won't kill her but bells are practically ringing in her ears!" Jasper complained, molding his hands tightly over his ears the same way I was. **

Whoops! I already forgot he could feel my emotions. Now he can feel the exact pain and irritation I'm feeling right now for his insane pixie wife!

**I shook my head dazed and turned around, finding myself face to face with Edward.**

**He was standing inches away from me, his eyes blacker than I've ever seen them. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!! :) Songs used in this chapter is 'Whatever you like' by Nicole Scherzinger, & 'Maneater' by Nelly Furtado. We don't own any of the music!**


	25. Soul Mates

**Hey guys! I recieved plenty reviews and I'm in an extremely good mood right now:) Also, this story is being changed to rated M. Lemons, etc. to come! Hope you enjoy this chapter and just a little 'Hint' for you, part of this chapter & the next will be the cause of one big change in the story! PLEASE REVIEW & MAKE MY DAY! THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED LAST CHAPTER, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! -Evie Lynn Rose:)**

**Previously: **_**"Jeeze' Allie-Kinz, it probably won't kill her but bells are practically ringing in her ears!" Jasper complained, molding his hands tightly over his ears the same way I was. **_

_Whoops! I already forgot he could feel my emotions. Now he can feel the exact pain and irritation I'm feeling right now for his insane pixie wife!_

_**I shook my head dazed and turned around, finding myself face to face with Edward.**_

_**He was standing inches away from me, his eyes blacker than I've ever seen them. **_

********

"**Wow, are you okay?" I asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder. A low growl rumbled about in his chest and next thing I knew, I was laying flat on the leather couch with his muscular body hovering over me.**

**His mouth was already at my neck, spreading icy kisses down to my collar bone and stopped right when he reached my cleavage. **

**He stared at my breasts with a hungry look in his eyes. My breathing was loud, pretty much panting and his eyes flickered to mine. We gazed at each other for a moment, letting ourselves drown in our sea of lust.**

"**May, I?" He asked me.**

"**Yes" My voice sounded deeper than usual, but that made it sound sexier. I couldn't help but praise him for be such a fine gentleman all the time and twisted my fingers in his hair, massaging his head softly.**

**A strange sound I never heard before filled my ears like beautiful music, sending a frenzy filled lust feeling and I stopped.**

**He looked up at me again and asked, "Why did you stop?"**

"**Was that a purr, Edward Cullen?" I quirked an eyebrow and he smirked. **

"**It was. Why do you ask?" He looked honestly curious to hear my answer.**

"**Because it was extremely sexy." I explained.**

**He growled seductively again and buried his face deep into my chest, nipping playfully at my round mounds.**

**I continued my massage on his scalp, and the purring began once again.**

**I heard someone clear their throat and both our heads snapped up at the same time. I felt my blush burning in my cheeks like fire when I saw all the Cullens standing there with the same look of amusement on their faces. All except for Emmett, of course, who seemed like he was using every ounce of his will not to bust out laughing.**

"**Oh god, this is sooo embarrassing!" I groaned, letting myself lay back against the arm of the sofa and covered my face with my hands. I felt Edward's chest vibrate slightly as he chuckled. I lifted my hands to shoot him an incredulous look.**

"**Oh no Bells, that was 100% better than watching Rose strip!" He said without thinking as usual, and received a big 'SMACK!' from Rose. Then she used her superhuman strength to toss him around the room effortlessly like a broken rag doll while I watched with wide, terrified eyes.**

"**Remind me to never piss Rose off" I muttered to Edward and he laughed.**

"**That may be a good idea. But if you ever do, I'll protect you." I was about to laugh but his eyes held no humor, only truth and I smiled.**

**Edward got up, pulling me with him. "Well guys, tonight's been fun, but we're going to go back to or room now to… relax" He smiled, pleased with his explanation before leading me to the door.**

"**Whatever. Go ahead and leave, then. We'll just stay here and have fun without you people!" She pouted and stuck her tongue out at us. I laughed freely, skipping back over to her and ruffling her hair while she protested.**

"**Thanks Alice, you're the best!" I kissed her spiky hair and went back to take Edward's waiting hand. We said goodnight to everyone before walking out of the room, wrapped up in each other's embraces.**

**It was completely silent all the way to Edward's room. It made me feel all jittery inside and I just couldn't hold back the question that was just begging to be asked.**

"**What are you thinking?" He looked down at me with a big fat grin on his face and smirked. **

"**Exactly?" He asked and I nodded. "I'm thinking that my gorgeous fiancée looked so sexy up on that stage tonight and It awakened some impure feelings and thoughts inside of me…" He paused and glanced at me from the corners of his eyes, waiting for some bad reaction from me.**

"**I see" He raised an eyebrow at me as he led me into the room, closing the door behind him. I walked over to the bed, appraising it's worth before turning back to Edward.**

"**Come here" I purred, opening my arms wide for him. He smiled mischievously, but came to me, letting my arms fold themselves around his neck. He buried his face into my shoulder, skimming his nose back and forth across it. I felt myself being lifted off the floor and my legs automatically secured around his waist tightly.**

**I moaned softly as his teeth lightly grazed the tender skin of my neck, tracing small circles where it was most sensitive and shivered in pleasure.**

"**Edward" I said breathlessly as he laid me down on the golden duvet covers, his whole body pressed fully against mine perfectly.**

"**My love for eternity" He returned, kissing the hand that I caressed his face with.**

**He cradled my face in his hand as his lips met mine in a gentle, passionate kiss. I tugged at his shirt and he slipped it over his head with the slightest hesitation. I knew he was afraid of hurting me, but what mattered was that we were two soul-mates expressing the love we had for each other in a special way. One way that would alter us in permanent ways, although I'm sure Edward already was since the day he met me. Three long years ago, in Forks High School, biology.**

**"Just let go..." I whispered, and pulled his lips back to wear they've always belonged.**


	26. First time

**AN: Thanks for the reviews guys! Answer for (-_ATwinklingStarInHisEyes_: According to Christy, Bella actually is in fact 20 and still going to school! lol. But as wierd as that is, just be creative and have an open imagination about it. :) Okay, that's all for now. WARNING: This chapter has Edward and Bella's first full lemon! Please review and let me know what you think! -Evie Lynn Rose:)**

**_Previously: _**_**I moaned softly as his teeth lightly grazed the tender skin of my neck, tracing small circles where it was most sensitive and shivered in pleasure.**_

_**"Edward" I said breathlessly as he laid me down on the golden duvet covers, his whole body pressed fully against mine perfectly.**_

_**"My love for eternity" He returned, kissing the hand that I caressed his face with.**_

_**He cradled my face in his hand as his lips met mine in a gentle, passionate kiss. I tugged at his shirt and he slipped it over his head with the slightest hesitation. I knew he was afraid of hurting me, but what mattered was that we were two soul-mates expressing the love we had for each other in a special way.**_

_**One way that would alter us in permanent ways, although I'm sure Edward already was since the day he met me. Three long years ago, in Forks High School, biology.**_

_**"Just let go..." I whispered, and pulled his lips back to wear they've always belonged.**_

**I ran my hands across his smooth chest, and down his deliciously defined six pack while he caressed my neck with his mouth.**

**My breathing hitched slightly when I felt Edward's tongue flicker against my skin, tasting it. I basically tore at my shirt until it came off and Edward immediately buried his face in between my breasts.**

**He began nibbling and nipping at them, occasionally dragging his icy venom-coated tongue along the tops. A moan escaped my lips as he removed my bra, taking my taut nipple into his mouth and sucked greedily on both of them.**

"**Oh, god!" I gasped, his body sliding lower until his face was level with my flat stomach. His tongue circled my navel, dipping in and out unexpectedly and making me jump.**

**I rubbed my thighs together desperately, but not able to stop the throbbing within my heated core. His eyes darted to mine again and started lower, sliding off the rest of my clothes with ease. **

**I started to panic.**

**I squirmed, trying to move away but his strong hands held me firmly in place. "Really Edward, You don't have to-"**

"**I want to." He insisted, his hands loosening it's grip on my hips. "I want to taste that sweet aroma that has been driving me so close to insanity all night long" I moaned while he said it, and he took the advantage to dive into slick folds, tongue first. Pleasure spread through me like fire. The feeling of his tongue licking up and down my slit was amazing. I felt him nudge my clit gently and I shuddered. "Fuck, Edward that feels so damn good!" My fingers instinctively dug into the soft sheets, struggling to get a grip on it. I growled in frustration and found a better alternative.**

**My fingers fondled around with his hair as he continued to pleasure me. Then he found my clit again and began sucking on it like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted.**

"**Ahhh!" I screamed in pure ecstasy as he shoved a finger into me, using his useful superhuman speed to pump in and out of me quickly. His tongue swept around my vaginal area, licking up all the pre-cum that seeped out of my tight hole.**

**He groaned and said, "Your juices tastes lovelier than your blood, my love. I can't decide which one I want most though." He pumped me faster and faster and soon I couldn't hold on.**

"**Fuck, Edward!" My orgasm shot through me and my cum squirted all over his face. He opened his mouth to catch most of it, and swallowed the rest. He licked me clean and I pulled him to me.**

**I attacked his mouth with my own and he accepted it willingly, letting me get a sample of what I tasted like.**

"**I'm ready" I breathed against his lips, rubbing my bare core against his irritatingly clothed thigh. **

"**Are you sure you want this? If we go any further there's no turning back" He warned me, but I could see it I his eyes that he wanted it just as badly as I did.**

"**I'm sure" I replied confidently and reached for the zipper of his jeans. He slipped out of them and tossed it to the foot of the bed where the rest of our clothes were tangled together.**

**I stared at his member curiously. It was the first time I'd ever seen one. It was strange, not ugly as I thought all were, but beautiful? It stood straight up, pointing directly at the ceiling. Edward growled and suddenly I was hovering above him with his seriously hard erection poking at my entrance.**

**I knew this was the part where it would hurt, the moment I loose my virginity forever. But it will always be Edward who took it in the first place, and that is definitely worth everything.**

**He pushed himself into me slowly, trying to watch closely for any signs of discomfort. He eyes darkened more if that were even possible as his head was sliding into me. He was trying extremely hard to maintain his control.**

"**Oh, hell!" I gasped as he hit my barrier, causing me to tense up a little. He froze warily. "Am I hurting you?" He asked, small lines creasing his face in concern.**

**I rolled my eyes, breathing deeply. "Don't beat yourself up over it. It isn't worth it. Plus, doesn't it hurt for everyone's first time?" He nodded and pushed again gently.**

"**Argh!" We both shouted as my protective walls finally gave in and his length came through, filling me completely for the first time.**

"**Ah!" I moaned/gasped as pain and pleasure swirled around inside me, making my head spin. **

"**God love, you feel so tight!" Edward gasped, his hips bucking uncontrollably under mine.**

**The stinging pain faded and was replaced with the most pleasurable feeling anyone could've ever imagined. I swerved my hip in a circular motion, making us both moan loudly.**

"**Come on, harder!" I ordered as he began moving in and out of me slowly. He sped up, thrusting into to me with force and I felt my muscles beginning to tighten around him.**

"**Fuck, baby!" I screamed, sinking my teeth into his shoulder as I came violently, milking him.**

**He came soon after, panting below me as I continued to ride my orgasm out. I fell on top of him, my body glistening with sweat as he pulled the covers over our heads.**

"**I love you" He said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. He nuzzled me neck lovingly and I sighed in pure happiness. **

"**I love you too"**


End file.
